Aids Society- University of Michigan short essay

Sometimes doing things for others makes people happy. I learned this while I was working with an AIDS society and an orphanage. Both of these societies work for the welfare of unfortunate children, improving how they feel and ensuring that they remain a part of and involved in the world. My job was to teach the kids and spend time with them so they wouldn't feel dejected. During every visit, I used to see a bright smile on all the children's faces, a smile that conveyed me that they were feeling secure and happy that someone cared for them. I involved myself completely with the kids, switching off my cellphone and forgetting every other concern in my life. Deeply engrossed in the smiles on their little faces, I used to lose all track of time, sometimes for as long as eight hours.

Going to movies and on picnics with these kids actually gave me more satisfaction than I got from spending time with my friends.
I also talk to many people regarding the prevention of HIV and AIDS, so their children won't have to suffer because of them in the future. With the help of many of the AIDS society's members, I have encouraged people to be involved in our society and to help with this noble cause.

Prompt for the essay: Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (Approximately 250 words)

Just a few suggestions...

Sometimes doing things for others makes people happy. I learned this while I was working with an AIDS society and an orphanage. Both of these societies work for the welfare of unfortunate children by improving how they feel and ensuring that they remain a part of and be involved in the world. My job was to teach the kids and spend time with them so that they wouldn't feel dejected. During each visit, I saw a bright smile on all the children's faces, a smile that conveyed to me that they were feeling secure and happy that someone cared for them. I involved myself completely with the kids, switching off my cellphone and forgetting every other concern in my life. Deeply engrossed in the smiles on their little faces, I used to lose all track of time, sometimes for as long as eight hours.

Going to movies and picnics with these kids actually gave me more satisfaction than I got from spending time with my friends.
I also talk to many people regarding the prevention of HIV and AIDS, so their children won't have to suffer in the future. With the help of many of the AIDS society's members, I have encouraged many to be involved in our society and help with this noble cause.

I really like your topic and I think you have written it very well.

Hope it helps.