AIF of Waterloo university - Computer Science or Actuarial Science

REASONS FOR CHOOSING YOUR PROGRAM AND WATERLOO

(*REQUIRED)
PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOUR EDUCATIONAL GOALS, YOUR INTEREST IN YOUR CHOSEN PROGRAM(S), AND YOUR REASONS FOR APPLYING TO THE UNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO. IF YOU HAVE APPLIED TO MORE THAN ONE PROGRAM PLEASE DISCUSS YOUR INTEREST IN EACH PROGRAM. (900 CHARACTER LIMIT)

I am eager to pursue a degree in Computer Science or Actuarial Science. When I utilized the basic knowledge that I learned in high school to create my first project, which was a Chinese game called Gobang, I felt a great sense of achievement. My prodigious passion for solving difficult questions in programming and mathematics has led me to choose Computer Science or Actuarial Science as my major in the future. Waterloo is my dream university, not only because of the high standard of education, but also because I am really attracted by the co-op program in Waterloo. In my opinion, practice in real life is one of the best means to absorb the knowledge and acquire the social skills to make me be more successful in my future careers, and I can not wait to get boundless chances to grow and gain work experience in the co-op program.(838 characters)

Could someone fixes the grammar or word problems for me, and feel free to give me some advice.

@wuyulon1 you have to shorten the essay by removing the first and second sentences. Basically, you should start at the third sentence with your essay which is a more direct response to the first question. Now, because you will remove the first two sentences, you can explain why you also have an interest in Actuarial Science, which you neglected to explain, as per prompt requirements, in the first version. You don't have to say that Waterloo is your dream university. Simply focus your statement on your academic goals for each major you have chosen as the reason you opted to apply for admission to Waterloo. Don't fill the discussion with useless references and word fillers. That is why you went over the character limit in this version of your essay. Present at least one reason for your interest in Waterloo as the educational source for your computer science and actuarial science choices. There is no need to discuss your high school interests. Keep in line with the required information. After you revise the statement. Review the prompt again to be sure that you did not include useless information or skip required information.

Thanks for your advice.
But I have some confusions about your advice. Firstly, if I move the first sentence, there is no sentence about educational goal. For the second sentence, I think my first project raise my interesting in Computer Science, and I don't get the reason why I need to remove that. In addition, I find that I didn't go over the character limit in this version, and I still had about 62 character left. Finally, I have already mention about co-op, and I have no idea I should talk about which aspect of reason except ranking.

Thanks again, have a nice day.

Your first sentence is not an educational goal it is a statement of interest in one of two majors. A statement about an academic goal is:

As a future Computer Science major, I look forward to fulfilling my dream of...

If you remove the reference to actuarial science, your statement will better align with the requirement of your interest in your chosen program. If you are not interested in actuarial science (that being a different major and therefore, a different academic goal) then you have to remove it from the essay as it is not really a program you are interested in.

Review the prompt, it is not asking about how your interest in Computer science was developed. Instead you are being asked for the reason why you chose to enroll at Waterloo. You do not need to answer a question that is not being asked in the prompt. You are wasting word count that way when the words could have been used to better explain the required prompt information. Expand on the explanation about what attracted you to the co-op aside from a mere mention of it. What stood out to you about the co-op program? You cannot mention a program without expanding on the explanation.