"Ambassador" - Commonapp Activity essay for edit

I looked at the audience, 100 elementary children; Nervously, I gripped the corner of my shirt, hands sweating. My first presentation as a Student Ambassador for Kids Help Phone, as you can see, I wasn't a born speaker or leader. To this day, I still can't believe that reserved girl would become an "Ambassador". Having faced obstacles and stress in life, I know the importance of having someone to guide you through. I want the kids to be able to seek help with this anonymous counseling line whenever they feel helpless; I want to promote some positive changes in our generation. With these believes, I stepped up, from being reluctant when speaking in public, to becoming a leader of the regional KHP Student Council, leading a group of students to plan community wide fundraising and awareness events. The experience made me confident to become a leader. Through these years, I realized, while doing something I love to promote positive changes, the passion has promoted positive growth in me.

Very interesting essay. I only wondered whether t would be better to use the long forms; for example "cannot" instead of can't, "was not" instead of wasn't.

thanks for your suggestion! it does sound a bit better now. (and now it's at exactly 1000 characters=0)

should i change anything else? i thought my essay format was a bit weird...and didn't really have the space to explain what I do thoroughly

should i scratch this and rewrite in a different approach?

With these believesbeliefs , I stepped up, from being reluctant when speaking in public,don't think you need a comma here to becoming a leader of ...

The experience made me confident to become a leaderlead others . Through these years, I realized , while doing something I love ...

I liked this a lot. It gives a good message and conveys your passion of leadership well.