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Ambition to learn and ability to adapt and persevere - How I enrich CU community



Alizej17 1 / 1  
Jan 11, 2013   #1
Given the statement above, how do you think you could enrich our diverse and inclusive
community, and what are your hopes for your college experience?

I used to come home to the cacophonous screams of my mother and father bickering. My sister was in the crib obliviously crying for food as the two argued uncontrollably. I'd run to my room to avoid being caught in the verbal crossfire and I would sit there throwing my toys around to diffuse the bloodcurdling blows I could here in my subconscious. These bone crunching sounds I heard were my pawns for imagination due to the fact that I was young and were unable to fully understand the ordeal, but as I grew older piece by piece the truth for why my father left me and my mother so many years ago gathered collectively. My Father had been cheating on my mother with another woman and had also fathered a child.

At that point when I finally figured out why he left he was gone for so long that it did not matter what he did anymore. He was irrelevant, but I started to notice the responsibilities I was given as a young adult in his absence. I believe he helped me grow as a person even though he was not there, although I wish I was given that fairy tale life. I wish my father was there to help me with basketball and to comfort my mother when she was upset or there to tell my little sister right from wrong instead of me. I wish he was there to chase all the guys away from my sister when she came of age.

My father re-entered my life as a freshman in high school for an instance, but it was only because my mother asked him to help her with rent. His reply was, "I have my own priorities." at the last minute which in turn caused us to move in with my aunt who was at the time on drugs. It turned out everything in the house was off, food, water, and the electricity. It was just a trick to get her expenses paid. When my mom was working I took care of the 3 younger kids that were there causing me to miss ample amounts of school for the next two years of my life causing my grades to be crippled.

I'm the man of the house and I'd have to say where I come from and what I have been through is what makes me unique from other applicants. I have seen my mother suffer and I will make her proud; I will be successful and I will satisfy my insatiable hunger for learning. I truly believe I would be able to enrich your "diverse and inclusive community" not with my caramel skin color or curly black hair, but with my ambition to learn and my ability to adapt and persevere. I also want to grow at Boulder because I believe college is about experiencing and enriching myself with different cultures and backgrounds. Everyone is diverse in his own way and everyone has a story to tell.

 

manjot 2 / 30  
Jan 11, 2013   #2
This doesn't really answer the question, it shows you faced hardships, you should mould it to answer the question. If you are gonna write about hardships , you have to give more space to how you overcame them and made the man you are.

I'm the man of the house and I'd have to say where I come from and what I have been through is what makes me unique from other applicants.

You sure you want to write that ?

When my mom was working I took care of the 3 younger kids that were there causing me to miss ample amounts of school for the next two years of my life causing my grades to be crippled.

Wrong Place, Additional Information is a better place


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