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'American citizen with Chinese blood in my veins' - UMD Essay culture duality



capriciousprite 6 / 20  
Oct 21, 2011   #1
'The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.' - Aristotle

Describe the parts that add up to the sum of you.
***I KNOW THIS IS CLICHE BUT THIS IS A MAJOR SAFETY SCHOOL FOR ME
__________________________________________________________

I am a natural citizen America. But I have Chinese blood in my veins. So which am I, Chinese or American?
Odd juxtapositions of East and West occur frequently in my life: I have Beijing opera masks adorning my Ikea furniture, and I eat spaghetti with chopsticks. Sometimes, my two halves clash: I disagree with my parents over the health of sitting on grass; according to traditional Chinese medicine, negative yin chi flows out of the ground or something crazy like that.

Although I don't always see eye to eye with one side, I wield the capability of thinking in both Eastern and Western terms. Like Tiger-Mom, I value high educational achievement, but I deviate from her stringent philosophy in that the non-academic parts of my life are equally as important. I am not devastated when I receive an occasional low grade in math, because I know that instance does not reflect my practically Calvinist work ethic. In fact, when that does happen, I usually have a night-in with friends to forget all about it.

Raised in two cultures, I am able to connect with more people. I used to turn my nose up at the kids I'd meet at Chinese social functions: They would show off their piano skills and gaudily discuss badminton technique. But gradually, over a series of forced interactions, I came to genuinely love them. Now I'm not as quick to dismiss people as "not cool enough", nor as conscious about exposing my nerdy side.

So whether I am at a football game or a karaoke party, I guarantee that I'll make friends faster than you can say, "take out".

Which am I? I am yin and yang, but I'll continue to stand in the middle, blurring the lines and conducting one harmonious symphony.

Zeugma 3 / 8  
Oct 21, 2011   #2
This is actually pretty good, even with its cliche. Though I would replace "Although I don't always see eye to eye with one side," with a shorter, more elegant transition.
amyk8525 1 / 2  
Oct 21, 2011   #3
I really like your essay.
But I think it will be better if you can probably replace "or something crazy like that" to something that sounds more formal.

This is just my opinion.
I like to be safe when writing college application essays.


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