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Amherst Supplement Essay "Difficulty need not foreshadow despair or defeat."



Vvarsha 4 / 8  
Dec 26, 2011   #1
"Difficulty need not foreshadow despair or defeat. Rather achievement can be all the more satisfying because of obstacles surmounted."

I can picture myself four years from now with a Bachelor's in History. Though I knew my future major in freshman year, math class has been that temptress since I was twelve. In the seventh grade my teacher outlined what math classes I could take in high school; the class that caught my eye was AP Calculus B/C. As a twelve-year-old I could wrap my head around algebra, geometry, and even trigonometry, but calculus seemed so immensely complicated and even exotic. I was drawn to this class like a moth to a lamp. I did not expect calculus to come easily to me, I knew that it would be difficult, but I decided not to admit defeat just yet.

My calculus teacher jumped into teaching limits of functions the first day of school. As I furiously copied down the amalgamation of letters and numbers on the board, I thought about how easy it would be just to drop this class and focus on AP US History. However, at the end of the ninety minutes, I did not pick up the drop form. Instead I asked my teacher to explain the concept once more. After that day, math class was never easy, but it was never boring. When difficult concepts came up, I never resorted to neglect or self-pity; I aspired to achieve something that I had dreamed of since the seventh grade.

Neither the score on my AP exam nor the grade in that class can truly depict what I achieved that year. I rose to the challenge and each little concept I learned that year felt like a huge mountain that I was proud to have climbed to the top of.

Erica Htet 2 / 8  
Dec 26, 2011   #2
I am applying to Amherst too and I chose the same prompt.

Here are my comments.

I think the first line has very little, if any, relation with the main idea of the essay.

I did not expect calculus to come easily to me, I knew that it would be difficult, but I decided not to admit defeat just yet.

I think this is a run-on sentence.

Neither the score on my AP exam nor the grade in that class can truly depict what I achieved that year.
What was your AP score? What grade did you get in that class?

Overall, I think your idea is better than the monotonous "little-engine-that-could" essay. However, I think you should improve your organization and wording.
You still have ample time for improvements as the deadline is Jan 1st. Wish you good luck.
OP Vvarsha 4 / 8  
Dec 27, 2011   #3
Revised edition

There will always be aspects of life that are difficult, but instead of succumbing to failure I find solace in each little hurdle I overcome. History may be my one true love, but math has always been that sly temptress. The clear distinction between right and wrong is incredibly calming. In the seventh grade when I looked at the classes I could take in high school AP Calculus B/C stood out. I could wrap my head around algebra, geometry, and even trigonometry, but calculus seemed so immensely complicated and even exotic. Looking through my father's old calculus textbooks was more than intriguing; I could not have dreamt of a more intricate and beautiful mix of numbers, symbols, and equations. Though I knew that calculus would be far from easy, I did not admit defeat just yet.

On the first day of class my calculus teacher jumped into his first lesson. As I furiously copied down the amalgamation of letters and numbers on the board, I thought about how easy it would be just to drop this class. At the end of class, instead of picking up the drop form, I asked my teacher to explain the concept again. My teacher was delighted that I had asked for help at the beginning; he had said, "It shows character." I thought it revealed my weak math skills, but I later realized that asking for help was the best way to overcome the obstacles step by step. Neither the 5 on my AP exam nor the A in the class truly reflects what I achieved that year. I rose to the challenge and each little concept I mastered felt like a huge mountain.

(280 words, needs to be less than 300)
deremifri 9 / 135  
Dec 27, 2011   #4
This is better.

You should try to connect sly temptress and the clear destinction.
Maybe, but I am not really sure, the end would be better if you add something about personal growth,
like how you learned to value challenges.

Would you mind taking a look at my diversity essay?
AbhaJ19 6 / 11  
Dec 29, 2011   #5
It is a great essay!!
That you have elucidated on the AP - your score and the like is a good point.


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