Animal Rights: UT-Issue of Personal Importance

University of Texas
Personal Essay 2
Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

An untamed child of the Earth, I felt a kinship early-on with animals. Our farm dogs accepted me as a member of the pack, and we gamboled in the pasture. Tiger the yellow tabby accompanied me on evening strolls. I wore only long-sleeves and jeans inside the house because Willie, a rather chunky squirrel we raised, climbed our tree-trunk bodies with razor-sharp claws. As a kid, I called animals family. Today, I make choices that support my love for all creatures.

Having moved to the city last year, we brought no pets with us. My mom and I missed having a big family, so we started to think about getting a cat or a dog. Mom wanted to buy a puppy, but I feel strongly about adoption. We settled on a wild-eyed rescued border collie with the energy of a pup and the belief that he is a five pound lap dog. By going to an animal shelter, not a breeder, we give these animals a second chance and a new family.

I may be an animal-lover, but I'm also a meat-lover. I swoon at the smell of a juicy steak on the grill. Chicken korma makes drool like a dog. However, eleven months ago I made a bet with myself. The challenge was simple: forgo meat for a month. January flew by and I just kept going. Vegetarianism feels right; each day that I make simple choices like spicy tofu instead of a roast beef sandwich, I'm saving lives and fighting animal cruelty. One should honor one's convictions. Mine tell me that the corrupt nature of the meat industries and the pain inflicted upon animals eclipse the pleasure we take from meat.

A small family in a big city, we consist of four individuals: My mom, a frisky dog 'Bear', a prissy cat 'Frida', and me. Each night, I take Bear for a neighborhood caper and I play with the huntress Frida, who can never be let outside; she would decimate the bird population. And each day, I follow my beliefs as I work for animal rights with small choices that add up.

Hi, You have done a interesting work! I love your story.
Still, I have a suggestion about your essay.
In the "meat" part, I think that you can write more on that. Maybe you can show your very struggle on giving up meat using more details.

Good luck on your essay!:)

Thanks for your input :) I actually rewrote it. Any further advice would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks,
Grace

Personal Essay 2
Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

A mother draws a hot bath for her three-year-old daughter. She decides to let it cool off and slips into the kitchen. When the woman checks on the bath, what a sight greets her: three bantie chickens bobbing in the tub like oversized rubber duckies and her daughter grinning like the Cheshire cat.

The chickens were fine and my mom returned them to the backyard. I believe I was restricted from then on to playing with the sweet hens out in the dirt. All I can say in my defense is that I was simply a wild child who adored animals. I remember several instances in which I encountered fishing. I thought it was horrible.

As a Brownie, the step before metamorphosing to a straight-up Girl Scout, we went on several camping trips. I have fond memories of such expeditions; hiking, drinking orange juice straight from the orange via peppermint stick, and scheming. You see, the adults caught a catfish, but it wasn't dead so they stuck it into a bucket of water. My comrades and I cringed at the sight of the creature that was ultimately to become a meal. I, being the mastermind of many plots, delivered a fool-proof plan as usual. We conspired to wake up in the dead of night, haul the bucket to the lake and release the catfish. Two things went awry. One, none of us woke up until daylight. Two, someone informed our Brownie Leader of my scheme, resulting in mild chastising.

Of course, I can't claim to be a serious animal rights activist from the beginning. I adore meat. I gravitate towards the savory scent of a steak on the grill or a turkey in the oven. Chicken korma makes me drool like a dog. However, I also love a challenge.

Last January, I made a bet with myself: forgo meat for one month. I won that bet. January flew by, as did the other months. It's almost December and I'm still going strong. It's not about the dare anymore. As I struggled to adjust to vegetarianism, I discovered many reasons to stick with it. With simple, daily choices, I combat animal cruelty, protect the environment and remember humanity's kinship with animals. Yes, meat brings us pleasure. But, that transitory gratification cannot eclipse the pain inflicted upon our distant cousins and the countless lives cut short. Vegetarianism may not satisfy my baser desires but it does keep my morality afloat.

Living in a society where we suffer a great disconnect from our food sources, I can understand why vegetarianism remains uncommon. We don't associate chicken korma with the silly but good-natured hens that let children manhandle them. While enjoying a fillet of fish at McDonalds, we don't think back to the horror we felt as children, begging our parents to throw back the trout. Of course, this disconnect is to be expected considering how the U.S. has changed throughout the past century alone. Urbanization has turned most of us into city slickers, without historical concerns like "how can I provide for my family using the resources of my land?" but many new problems as a result of industrialization.

In this modern world, we are faced by many dilemmas, particularly concerning the environment and moral crises. We should fight the defeatist attitude that results from being overwhelmed and say, "What can I do as an individual?" You could try a veggie burger, a surprisingly delicious alternative. You could participate in Meatless Tuesdays, like people did during WWII. But, most of all, you should believe that you have the ability to make a difference.

Do y'all think that the last two paragraphs are out of place? I need to perfect this by Tuesday :)

Any criticism would be welcomed! The deadline is looming towards me :)

Hi!
I'm in the process of writing an essay along the same lines.
I think you do need to expand on your conclusion a little
you end it a bit abruptly.
I also thought the introduction was a bit out of place, I would suggest trying to connect that better.

Otherwise I loved your essay, keep trucking!
Just a few more days!

Hello!!

i just read your rewrite!!! I loved it.
I am in the same process as you with writing essays by tuesday.
You seem very talented.
If you are willing, I'd greatly appreciate any insight on my uc essay,

Thanks and good luck!!

My English teacher always told me not to address the reader and don't use you because it's like telling them what to do or think. I don't know if that applies here as well, but i just thought I'd share just in case it might help.