The prompt is to write about any personal experiences that have influenced your academic interests. I wrote about a very personal topic. I am wondering if this is appropriate and, if so, what should I fix?
The blank spot is for the name of the girl I'm writing about. I'm unsure if I should include her real name.
Her name is ______. She joined the cross country team in tenth grade without serious ambition. She tried her best in practice and in meets, but she initially joined the team to socialize rather than compete.
By all accounts, she was just like me when I was first introduced to cross country. An ex-soccer player, I didn't have any expectations or goals for myself when I decided to give it a try in tenth grade. After I realized success, however, I found myself consumed by a competitive world of records and statistics. I became engrossed in an obsession with winning and improving. I found myself entrenched in an extreme diet and training regimen that compromised my health, relationships, and happiness.
After psychological and physical treatment, I finally overcame my eating disorder. By the time I was midway through my junior year, I discovered greater success and happiness when I became free from my dangerous perfectionism.
However, ____ became a reflection of my eating disordered self as she began to achieve athletic success. I attempted to share with her some of the knowledge I gained through my own struggles, but I found myself at a loss with how to make a meaningful impression.
I consider myself fortunate to be free from my obsessive behavior; free to eat ice cream with my friends, to take days off from exercise when I'm tired or sore, to think of other things besides my next cross country race. This is what I want for ____ and for the countless others who have sacrificed their health and happiness to eating disorders. It is for this reason that I have an interest in pursuing an education in psychology, so that I might be able to allow others gripped by obsession to realize the freedom I now enjoy.
The blank spot is for the name of the girl I'm writing about. I'm unsure if I should include her real name.
Her name is ______. She joined the cross country team in tenth grade without serious ambition. She tried her best in practice and in meets, but she initially joined the team to socialize rather than compete.
By all accounts, she was just like me when I was first introduced to cross country. An ex-soccer player, I didn't have any expectations or goals for myself when I decided to give it a try in tenth grade. After I realized success, however, I found myself consumed by a competitive world of records and statistics. I became engrossed in an obsession with winning and improving. I found myself entrenched in an extreme diet and training regimen that compromised my health, relationships, and happiness.
After psychological and physical treatment, I finally overcame my eating disorder. By the time I was midway through my junior year, I discovered greater success and happiness when I became free from my dangerous perfectionism.
However, ____ became a reflection of my eating disordered self as she began to achieve athletic success. I attempted to share with her some of the knowledge I gained through my own struggles, but I found myself at a loss with how to make a meaningful impression.
I consider myself fortunate to be free from my obsessive behavior; free to eat ice cream with my friends, to take days off from exercise when I'm tired or sore, to think of other things besides my next cross country race. This is what I want for ____ and for the countless others who have sacrificed their health and happiness to eating disorders. It is for this reason that I have an interest in pursuing an education in psychology, so that I might be able to allow others gripped by obsession to realize the freedom I now enjoy.
