Short answer, reasons for applying to Wellesley - need help editting

Topic: The Board of Admission is interested in knowing your reasons for applying to Wellesley College and how Wellesley will help you to realize your personal and academic goals.

At Wellesley College, the rigor of courses and constructive competitions are present; however, students are engrossed and are passionate about what they are learning. I have been looking for a fostering environment and a personal experience in college, something more than meeting new people and studying harder. As women are expected to excel at Wellesley, I wish to face the challenge and meet the high standards with numerous opportunities. I believe I can achieve my dream of becoming a chemical engineer or pharmaceutical researcher and shine through the society of women, learning to be confident and respect others.

I plan to concentrate in sciences, and I discovered that Wellesley College has one of the best science programs in the nation. Programs such as National Science Foundation for a Research Experience for Undergraduates and the ability to take classes at Massachusetts Institute of Technology and Olin College of Engineering were particularly appealing. Moreover, I have discovered that Wellesley sends more students to graduate schools than any other colleges do while being affordable. Therefore, I think Wellesley College can fulfill my penchant for the sciences and present me with a wonderful college environment and intimate relationships. As Helen Keller was able to flourish because of the help of Ms. Sullivan and as Hillary Clinton was able to become a prominent leader through Wellesley College, I will be able to accomplish my dream with the relationship between Wellesley College and me.

Could you check for grammar/usage errors?
and help me to fix the awkward phrases.
Do you think I am fully answering the question?

Thank you so much!

Good evening :)

Your first paragraph is clean; I wouldn't change anything.

In the second paragraph, make sure you put "the" in front of "National Science...".

I would change the last sentence to "I" instead of "me." There are some that are comfortable with the "(other noun) and me" theory, but my personal comfort level says "Wellesley College and I." However, it is your piece so it is up to you :)

I think this is a great answer to the prompt; I believe it answers the question fully. Good work!

Regards,
Gloria
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