lalalololala 2 / 2 Nov 3, 2009 #1I've already submitted my essay but just wanted to make sure that I answered the prompt correctly.At the end of the diversity essay I wrote "Through experiencing different cultures and social roles, I'm better able to identify and respect individualism. I will bring this open-mindedness and sense of community to University of Michigan. "Does this answer to "how your personal experiences and achievements would contribute to the diversity of the University of Michigan."I forgot to include the word "diversity"..does it seem like I am off topic..
Mustafa1991 8 / 373 4 Nov 3, 2009 #2Hardly.The first two words are exceptionally awkward and vague. What does individualism have to do with diversity? The strongest word verb you can use is "bring?"; the strongest qualities you can portray are "open-mindedness" and "sense of community" respectively?Let me outline a scenario:X: I will bring tolerance and respect to XYZ Academy.Y: So, what is your point?You suffer a complete misinterpretation of what the prompt is wanting. Ethically, you should reevaluate the way you view it. Is it something you're acquiescing to or appeasing, or a motivator to relay lucidly and accurately, positive affirmation which you'll exemplify?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129 Nov 5, 2009 #3Yes, that's right, individualism is a little different. It is too general, so how about instead you brainstorm 5 characteristics that best define you. I'll wait here while you think of what they are.Think of five... I'll wait here.Okay, now those 5 characteristics that describe you... which one is most related to openness and acceptance of people? Maybe you are empathetic, for example. Or maybe you have a gift for encouraging people. Give a personal anecdote that shows how your personality brings people together. In writing, they say, "show, don't tell." Show examples... and express enthusiasm about bringing people together as a student at their fine institution...:)