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(Answered prompt correctly?) - University of Michigan Diversity Essay


lalalololala 2 / 2  
Nov 3, 2009   #1
I've already submitted my essay but just wanted to make sure that I answered the prompt correctly.

At the end of the diversity essay I wrote "Through experiencing different cultures and social roles, I'm better able to identify and respect individualism. I will bring this open-mindedness and sense of community to University of Michigan. "

Does this answer to "how your personal experiences and achievements would contribute to the diversity of the University of Michigan."

I forgot to include the word "diversity"..does it seem like I am off topic..

Mustafa1991 8 / 373 4  
Nov 3, 2009   #2
Hardly.

The first two words are exceptionally awkward and vague. What does individualism have to do with diversity? The strongest word verb you can use is "bring?"; the strongest qualities you can portray are "open-mindedness" and "sense of community" respectively?

Let me outline a scenario:

X: I will bring tolerance and respect to XYZ Academy.

Y: So, what is your point?

You suffer a complete misinterpretation of what the prompt is wanting. Ethically, you should reevaluate the way you view it. Is it something you're acquiescing to or appeasing, or a motivator to relay lucidly and accurately, positive affirmation which you'll exemplify?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 5, 2009   #3
Yes, that's right, individualism is a little different. It is too general, so how about instead you brainstorm 5 characteristics that best define you. I'll wait here while you think of what they are.

Think of five... I'll wait here.

Okay, now those 5 characteristics that describe you... which one is most related to openness and acceptance of people? Maybe you are empathetic, for example. Or maybe you have a gift for encouraging people. Give a personal anecdote that shows how your personality brings people together. In writing, they say, "show, don't tell." Show examples... and express enthusiasm about bringing people together as a student at their fine institution...

:)


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