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U Va app: Elaborate Activity--emceeing; LoTF that challanged me; Favorite Word



sakeloga 3 / 14  
Dec 29, 2009   #1
Hello, here are my application essays for University of Virginia.
I am looking forward to constructive criticisms! By the way, I posted two of the three essays before but got deleted :( so I neeed to restart and ask for help again.

Elaborate one of the activities in less than 150 wordsSpeaking in front of people, I embarked on what my friends called 'mission impossible'. Being an emcee, I was obligated for smooth progression of the show, and now I must keep audiences' attention focused on the stage. Right before I yelled 'be quiet', which I knew could only suppress the noise for five minutes, a notion, which originated from my interaction with my friends, appeared. Instead of admonishment, I decided to reward those that follow my instructions a small gift. After I declared my plan, a surprising scene occurred: chatters died down, squirms settled, and distractions ceased, and the room remained quiet since then, except waves of applause after each performance.

This activity was more than a simple hosting of a show; I learned something that the audiences, who were seeking for the gift, failed to realize: Good solutions are not intuitive responses; they require more sophisticated thoughts and creativities.

What is your favorite word and why?
The complicated yet aesthetic Chinese character,凝, is my favorite word. The character has several physical to abstract meanings in Chinese.
In chemistry this character describes the process which each particle slows the pace of bouncing and bumping and gradually sticks onto each other, forming one substance that remains steady. This process can be treated figuratively to refer to a person changing from agitation to tranquility; it is a wonderful replacement for the hackneyed expression 'calming down'. Throughout my life, I have experienced numerous circumstances when I needed to chill down to overcome difficulty and thus learned the importance of facing problems with a more '凝' approach.

Whenever an unforgettable event takes place, from a basketball championship game to a small embracement with lover, everyone will experience '凝': It is when everything moves so slowly that the time seems to pause, and the perceptions are so sensitive that they seem to capture every detail being, and engrave it deeply into the memory. Being a public speaker for some years, I underwent countless moments of '凝'-from my first presentation to my speech in front of hundreds of people. Enchanted with such feeling, I believe the value of my life is embodied in the moments that '凝' occurs.

凝 fascinates me not only because it is a beautifully written character or a unique word, but also it is a representation of my characteristics, a microcosm of my belief in my life.

What work of art, music science, mathematics, or literature has surprised, unsettles, or challenged you, and in what way?
Written in a period of desperation, the values in the book-Lord of the Flies- cruelly clash with my notions which form in the period of dreams. Whenever I read the last two pages of the novel, I can't stop myself wondering-is my belief system wrong? This conflict is especially significant when it comes to the topic of leadership.

I am connected to the book through the mirror image of myself in the novel-Ralph; I was marveled of the similarities between us-the confidence, the providence, and the inspirational power. Trusting our shared qualities, I naively expected a happy-ever-after ending for the story.

Two weeks later, the storyline reached the end, so did my prior belief system of leadership. Image of the final scene engraved lucidly in my mind-a contrast between order and disaster, an irony of authority and tears. I closed the book with desperation. From an organizer in non-school activities to the chief executive member of organizations, the experiences of leadership that I had were shattered into pieces. Had I read the novel that I began to question my prior view of leadership formation-people support those who are democratic and amicable-and realized that aggression can outweigh the importance of goodwill.

I am still entangled in the clash now. However, I believe that I will find the answer in practice. How? Well, let me begin with a more active participation in my community; and by observing the leaders in the group and engaging myself in competition, I will find the best solution to the challenge proposed by the novel.

Thank You!v

OP sakeloga 3 / 14  
Dec 30, 2009   #2
May anyone help me with this? I am more confident about the second essay--the favorite word, the other two are kind of rambly...I hope anyone can criticize me so that I can improve! I'll be glad to criticize you in return (that sounds wrong...but...yea):D
OP sakeloga 3 / 14  
Dec 30, 2009   #3
I really need help for this essay...especially for the third one. Would anyone evaluate my essay? I am glad to evaluate yours in return.
gynn92 3 / 28  
Dec 30, 2009   #4
Hey there =)

Your 150 word essay: I like this one. It's descriptive. But try rewording your third sentence. It's a little awkward. I'm too lazy to check the word limit, but try to add in what you learned from the activity a little bit more.

Your third essay: Try to elaborate on the last sentence.

Will you take a look at mine?

Thank you!
OP sakeloga 3 / 14  
Dec 30, 2009   #5
Thank you Ginny, and I also looked at yours and commented.

Looking for more suggestions from ppl and I will be very glad to look at yours in return!
OP sakeloga 3 / 14  
Dec 30, 2009   #6
Will anyone help as well?
OP sakeloga 3 / 14  
Dec 30, 2009   #7
Please give some overall suggestions to my third essay! I will check yours in return.


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