If you feel that your high school record does not accurately represent your academic abilities, please explain why. Include and discuss particular extenuating circumstances that may have contributed to any scholastic challenges.
When applying for colleges and/or universities, schools use ACT/SAT scores, cumulative GPA, and college preparation courses they've taken to determine if the student is academically fit to be admitted into their college/university. But what happens if ACT/SAT scores and cumulative GPA aren't up to part, and you attend a school where college preparation courses are unavailable, does that mean the student is incompetent in handling university.... [..]
When applying for colleges and/or universities, schools use ACT/SAT scores, cumulative GPA, and college preparation courses they've taken to determine if the student is academically fit to be admitted into their college/university.<<YOU SHOULD REWORD THIS SENTENCE, BECAUSE COLLEGES ARENT APPLYING FOR SCHOOL.HOWEVER,
But what happens if THE STUDENTS' TEST ACT/SAT scores and cumulative GPA aren't up to partPAR , and youTHEY HAVE ATTENDED attend a school where college preparation courses WERE are unavailable ,? does that mean the student is incompetent in handling university leveled courses? No, but that social economic situations, the lack of educational programs given to lower income students, and the little amount of encouragement given to students that they will succeed can contribute for them not doing their complete best in school.
What are u trying to say here? I was a bit confused.
For me I do not feel that my high school records accurately represent my academic abilities, for my home life was less than ideal. <<I WOULD REWORD THAT.. I was forced to take on the role as a parent for my little brothers and sisters, for my parents constantly worked to pay the bills. <<tHIS ",FOR.." IS A BIT REPETITIIVE.. During this time, it was my responsibility to make sure my brothers and sistersBOTHER'S AND SISTER'S homework was done, dinner was made for them to eat, and THEIR clothes WERE picked out for the following school day. THESE RESPONSIBLITIES With this left me with no time to do homework, study for tests, or be a regular teenager. In my first 2 years of high school is whereWAS WHEN I really struggled ACADEMICALLY, BECAUSE for I would get 2.3'S and 2.5's on my report card. DISAPPOINTED , disappointed as a usual honor roll student ,I knew that I had to do better if I wanted to attend college. In between tasks of making dinner and helping with homework, I set aside a little study time for myself, and successfully made the honor roll in my last 2 years of high school graduating with honors. However,IF given the opportunity to redo an event in my life differently, I would choose to redo my first 2 years of high school the way I spent my last.<<REWORD
I may not have lived in an area where the grass is green and the sun always shines, but I should be granted the same opportunities as for those who do. <<i UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING, BUT REWORD IT TO MAKE IT SOUND MORE...PROFESSIONAL Most schools offer after school programs but
with costTHEY COST MONEY ,AND being from a household where we couldn't participate in such activities because of this, could have helped my family in many ways, especially with leaving extra time to do homework and study.<<IT'S A BIT CONFUSING HERE. i THINK YOU SHOULD REWORD SOME THINGS FOR CLARITY In programs like these, mentors are available to help students with homework, boost their self esteems, and also help cope with problems that may be going on at home. With this will enable students to be goal driven, confident individuals, who strive to be the best they can be.
Ultimately, I am responsible for my performance in high school, and found that I placed too much attention of it being my parents fault of them constantly working to pay the bills, leaving me to take care of my siblings. I focused on bettering myself as an individual ,which resulted in me graduating with honors. I understand that although life can not be redone, we should not let the results of my past reflect my future.<<THESE SENTENCES SEEM A BIT CONTRADICTING, BECAUSE YOU STARTED OUT TALKING ABOUT HOW YOUR GRADES WERE BEAD BECAUSE ALL THE RESPONSIBILIITES YOU HAD. hOWEVER, HERE YOU ARE SAYING ITS THE OPPOSITE--THAT YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR GRADES NOT BEING ON POINT. SO, WHAT EXACTLY IS THE ESSAY ABOUT? WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR GRADES? YOU OR YOUR PARENTS? i THINK YOU SHOULD FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO PUT HERE FOR A BETTER CONCLUSION TO KEEP A STEADY FLOW.My grades in high school does not reflect my drive or intelligence, but with this I have the determination to achieve great success in Michigan State University.
i LOVE THE CONCLUDING SENTENCE. I THINK IT SUMS EVERYTHING ELSE UP, EXCEPT THE PRECEDING SENTENCES. FORGIVE MY EDITING SKILLS, I JUST JOINED. LOL
No, but that socio-economic situations, the lack of educational programs given to lower income students, and the little amount of encouragement given to students to succeed in school can contribute to their not doing their complete best in school.--I corrected the grammar... but I do not like this part. It seems that you are shirking responsibility and making excuses.
I think you should cut that intro out of the essay and begin here:
Honestly, I do not feel that my high school records accurately represent my academic abilities, for I didn't live the ideal life at home. I was forced to take on the role as a parent for my ...---Excellent
I may not have lived in an area of perfection, but I should be granted the same opportunities as for those who do. Most schools offer after school programs but they cost money, and being from a household where we couldn't ---I think this paragraph should not discuss difficulty at home anymore. You already discussed that enough. In this paragraph, explain what is important to you, what you care most about. What is it? Explain what drives you... your greatest aspiration.
It is your great aspiration that gives you great potential.
Ultimately, I understand that although life can not be rewind like a type , I (not we) should not let the results of my past reflect my future. My grades in high school do not reflect my drive or intelligence, but with this I have the determination to achieve greatness in Michigan State University.
Ending an essay with a conclusion is the hardest because the reader must remember what you write and it help to bring truth. So, I think this is good, but if you really think that your grade/academic wise isn't good enough and want to go to this university then here is a few tips for you.
1. Get rid of "to be" verbs. (is, was, are, has, have, like, that, should, will, would etc...)
2. Do not repeat yourself more than twice. (2 years of high school, 2 years of high school---> twice is good, but more can make the reader started to be bored or think this person is losing focus)
3. Stay focus with tense. If it's past, then make it past. If it's present then this is hard because present is the hardest to stay focus with.
I wish you luck and hope you achieve a future that you can take each steps with a smile of achievement.