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"art has become a passion of mine" - CommonAPP main essay suggestions?



piefacexd 1 / 2  
Dec 24, 2009   #1
Hi i want to use this essay for my common app main one but I'm not sure if its any good. Is it ok for my influential person to be someone i dont remember well? Please, any help will be greatly appreciated.

In that moment everything was silent, perfectly still. The noisy crowd melted away against the waves of intense focus dedicated solely on the pencil. The only sound heard was the muted scratch of graphite on the grainy, white paper. A pair of curious eyes watched intently as the pencil looped and curved creating gentle arches and shades of pure obsidian. Round and round it danced across the paper forming an image unknown to the little boy's watchful eyes. Like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat, this lone pencil was creating beauty and wonderment out of emptiness. What could it be? Deep in thought, the young boy concentrated to decipher the mysterious image being brought to life. Suddenly, a smile crept upon his face as the mystery revealed itself. The long pointed teeth, the striped body, and the gleaming feline eyes all seem to leap from the page with perfect clarity and realization.

"A Tiger! It's a Tiger!" I exclaimed happily. Again, I looked down at the page with amazement. Just a few minutes ago there was nothing but emptiness in front of me, but now the emptiness was filled with the ferocious gaze of a tiger. It was pure magic.

At the time I was convinced I had met a true magician, a God with the ability to Create. Truthfully, I don't remember who this person was, what he looked like, or even his name. All I can remember was his magical wand, his pencil, from which he produced the most amazing things. For the rest of my life, I would be completely captivated by his fascinating ability to Create.

I would meet the Magician once every so often at a family gathering of sort, where tables of delicious Chinese food spanned the rooms and the clatter of Mahjong pieces hitting one another meshed into the symphony of countless Chinese conversations. Being an American born child amidst all these adults and unable to speak Chinese, I was separated from their raucous fun and I absolutely hated it. Every month I would sit, eat, and be bored out of my mind. Until the day The Magician arrived and decided to show me something truly amazing. He noticed me slumped in a chair, festering in my boredom, and motioned me to join him with a wave of his hand. Once I arrived it became instantly apparent that we couldn't communicate. He spoke Chinese and I spoke English. Despite the language barrier, he began to draw. Line after line filled the page as his art poured onto the paper. He drew animals, food, toys, and all sorts of things for me. Through that time together he learned my favorite animal and foods, all from my reactions to his drawings. It was as if he was talking to me through his drawings. From then on I became enthralled by this peculiar talent. I became inspired to draw just like him and use my art to communicate with others.

Ever since that day I've been drawing, from simple things like Pokémon to complicated things like ferocious tigers. At first I was horrible at it, my tigers looked like lizards and my lizards looked like scribbles, but I never gave up. I continued to do art during my high school life and I'll admit at times it has been very hard and tiring. The countless all nighters to meet deadlines has caused me to make certain academic sacrifices and severely limited my social life, but I believe it has all been worth it. That feeling I get when I complete a piece that I have just poured my heart and soul into is something that I can't gain anywhere else. It's a sense of pure accomplishment and pride for my handwork. At times it hurts when people don't understand what my art is about or bash it because they don't find it aesthetically pleasing. But I don't give up, instead it shows me I haven't reached the level of The Magician and I must persevere and try harder so that everyone can understand my work, my feelings, and my message.

Today, art has become a passion of mine a way to express myself and communicate with other people. Many times have I used drawing to get to know others, especially the children I meet when I volunteer at Texas Children's Hospital. Their eye light up just like mine did ten years ago and brings a smile unto their faces, despite whatever sickness is befalling them, and the sense of happiness they emanate makes all my hard work honing my skills worth it. Looking back, I'm glad I was able to meet this Magician. Though I don't know where he is now, I'll always remember the influence he has had on me, for he introduced me to a hobby that I will love and cherish for the rest of my life. He has taught me how to bridge the gap between different people using something as simple as a magic wand.

luminousx 3 / 32  
Dec 26, 2009   #2
I really like your essay, it is very well written. I think it'd go under "Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence."

Please read mine!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 27, 2009   #3
Is it ok for my influential person to be someone i dont remember well?

Yes! The influence reaches far past what you can remember. I think you can write beautifully about the influence of someone you never even knew.

If you say pencil, you have to complete the metaphor somehow:
All I can remember was his magic wand -- the pencil with which he sketched amazing things onto the canvas of reality.

Oh, wait, I see that you were calling his pencil a magic want. So write:
All I can remember was his magic wand: the pencil with which he sketched amazing things onto the canvas.

Ever since that day I've been drawing, from simple things like Pokémon to complicated things like ferocious tigers.

You write very well! I don't like the word hobby, though. Why call it a hobby when you can refer to it as something that influences your philosophy of life or your chosen field of study? Art touches every aspect of life, so this is much more than a hobby.

:-)


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