"Art was integrated into my life unintentionally" - Statement of Intent/Personal

i'm applying to the School of Visual Arts, SUNY Purchase, and Manhattanville. THANK YOU

Art was integrated into my life unintentionally and suddenly; a mere schedule change led me from a Calculus class to a Drawing and Painting class. At first I was unaware of the complexity and the challenge that creating a piece of artwork presented, it was an unfamiliar process to me. But as the class progressed, my appreciation for artwork, as well as the challenge, grew tremendously. I began to notice that art has strong influences on everyday life, that it is contained in almost every aspect and component of it. Sometimes I catch myself staring at the architecture of a building, or the layout of a page in a magazine, contemplating the design process. Visual arts became increasingly fascinating to me, due to its subtlety yet prominence in daily life. I am entertained by the fact that art serves as a leeway for emotions to be released, and felt by other people. The power that visual arts possesses is unlike any other, it has the ability to influence the subconscious mind in profound ways.

A career in visual arts would be ideal for me. The fact that art is a universal language, that it speaks to a part of you that is usually unattainable makes me want to be involved and create it myself. The way that it feels when a paint brush is in hand, when assembling a new canvas is done. It feels right, and it has become a familiar and loved feeling to me. Although I am not exactly sure of what aspect of visual arts I want to be involved in, I know that going to a creative school will help me find out. Someday, I hope to be a creator of building, or a magazine page, or a billboard advertisement that someone looks at and wonders what it took to make this piece of art, just like I am today.

At first, I was unaware of the complexity and the challenge thatof creating a piece of artwork presented. It was an unfamiliar process to me, but as the class progressed, my appreciation for artwork, as well as the challenge, grew tremendously.

Let's eliminate a "the"----> ...of the complexity and the challenge that creating a piece of artwork presented; it was an unfamiliar process to me. -----------Without that semi-colon, it would be a run on sentence.

No need for a comma here:
I am entertained by the fact that art serves as a leeway for emotions to be released and felt by other people. ---This is a little tough, because it sounds like the other people are doing the releasing. Maybe you can say it a different way?

A career in visual arts would be ideal for me. I think this sentence is too obvious at this point in the essay.

... is a universal language, that it speaks to a part of you that is usually unattainable makes me want to be involved and create it myself. ----Why, because you have something important to say? Why should the reader care what you have to say? I am just challenging you a little... how can you appeal to the reader's interests?

...not exactly sure of what aspect of visual arts I want to be involved in, I know that going to a creative school will help me find out. ----I think you do know. I think you have several. There is no need to reduce it or feel uncertain. Who is your favorite artist right now? What kind of art is it? That is your kind of art right now. Follow your inspiration.

Someday, I hope to be a creator of building buildings, a magazine page, or a billboard advertisement that someone looks at and wonders what it took to make this piece of art, just like I am today.----Hmmm... seems like underdeveloped interests. You should get specific... read a few art reviews for inspiration... and write something that highlights what you ARE certain about.

:-)