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Artist in court-Commonapp-150 words of EC


coockie 2 / 3  
Nov 13, 2010   #1
I am a real artist when playing basketball. Having caught the ball, I jumped up, stretched out my right arm and poked the ball. Time ran slower and the world seems silent. Attracted by the backboard, the ball flew straight to the backboard and turned into my painting brush, drawing out a beautiful arc in the blue canvas. Just as they met each other, chemical reaction took place--the two factors formed a drum and the product performed the prelude of an impromptu .Then, the ball rebounded to the basketry, and played the theme. Finally, the ball found a way out and rushed into the basket. With the sound of Maracas, the movement ended and applauses began. Those are approvals of my efforts: two hours a time, three times a week, I practiced; Wet and exhausted, I persisted. That's all because I love the rhapsodies created by me-I'm a real musician in the court.

actually, I think mine is quite different from others'.But m just wondering if this fits...
dreamcatcher 3 / 3  
Nov 13, 2010   #2
"Time ran slower and the world seemed silent. "

there ya go, this is the only problem i could find
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 24, 2010   #3
product performed the prelude of an impromptu .---this part seems like trying too hard to get the alliteration!

You are talented, though, for sure! This is good stuff.

I recommend doing one paragraph for 'artist' and another paragraph for 'musician.' Otherwise, it seems a little chaotic. Chaotic in a good way, though!

One last idea... on the court instead of "in" the court.
OP coockie 2 / 3  
Nov 28, 2010   #4
thank you soooooooo much for your two patient comments!!!
can't wait to polish them~


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