Not yet an artist; Parsons (New School) BFA / "ARTIST STATEMENT"

"ARTIST STATEMENT: What do you make, how do you make it, and why do you make? Ultimately, where
do you visualize your creative abilities and academic study to take you after your education here at
Parsons? Only up to 500 words, please."

I make art, although I may not be an artist yet. I sculpt, draw, and photograph my surroundings. I feel a deep connection to my artwork, but right now there is a gap between my ideas and my creations. I know my work can be so much more than it is at this time, and I hope to be able to fill that gap by going to Parsons. I am always looking around at houses in my town, and getting inspired by the nature around me. I live in an area where it's easy to get lost in the beauty of nature, and I try to reflect that in the work I create. I have been drawing, sculpting and creating work from a young age growing up in Israel, and continued in the United States, but I have only started reflecting on work as an art producer recently. I create my work because when I do not I feel empty. I'm constantly thriving to think of a new idea or to get inspired by something. Nothing can match the feeling of getting inspired.

Becoming an architect has been a lifelong dream of mine. My grandfather, Eliezer Frenkel, was a prominent architect and teacher in Israel, as well as an inspiring figure in my life. I remember going to his apartment and looking at pictures of his work, being fascinated by his use of concrete and various materials. As I have grown up I have found myself increasingly intrigued by architecture, and with each year I further my understanding of why it is such a substantial part of society and my life.

After graduating from Parsons, I think my creative abilities will thrive and live on. I visualize being an architect and truly making a difference in my communities. I want to change the way people see architecture, because for me it is so much more than a shelter, a house, a structure or a building- it is a work of art. I want to be an architect that sets a prominent building on a skyline, the ultimate show of mastery and skill in a society in my opinion. I see myself honing down a style of my own, and traveling to create works around the world. It's easy to imagine being a great architect, but the work is what I need to do. At Parsons I know I'll be pushed to create works that I am truly proud of, and finally realize my dream of learning architecture.

Any help will be greatly appreciated! :)

1. This is quite repetitive.

2. Look at the first five or six sentences (maybe more). With what word does EACH begin?

I make art, although I may not be an artist yet. I sculpt, draw, and photograph my surroundings. I feel a deep connection to my artwork, but right now there is a gap between my ideas and my creations. My work can be so much more than it is at this time, and I hope to be able to fill that gap by going to Parsons. The houses and nature in my town always inspire me. Living in an area where it's easy to get lost in the beauty of nature, I try to reflect this beauty in the work I create. Growing up to an artistic family in Israel, I have been drawing, sculpting and creating work from a young age, and continued in the United States, but I have only started reflecting on work as an art producer recently. I create my work because when I do not I feel empty. I'm constantly thriving to think of a new idea or to get inspired by something. Nothing can match the feeling of getting inspired.

is this better? I feel as though a lot of the sentences will sound awkward if I change them to a variation of "me" or "myself" instead of "I"

You cannot just substitute another personal pronoun for another. It doesn't solve the problem.

This sentence is a step in the right direction:


Now you have to get rid of the repeat of the word "beauty." With few exceptions, no two important words should appear in the same sentence.