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'Asian Indian background' - rutgers essay



pavan360 1 / 1  
Oct 3, 2011   #1
I consider myself fortunate having born in a family who are first generation immigrants in this country. My parents moved from India to US about twenty years back. Though challenging to assimilate in either society, east or west, it gives me an opportunity to enjoy both cultures. Among Indian circles we are called ABCDs. I.e. American born confused desis. 'Desi' is a Hindi word meaning, Indian native. Yes, in their view we may appear confused, but, both my sister and I see ourselves more tolerant and open to the differences of cultures. We easily mingle and adapt ourselves to both social circles. My back-ground gives me an opportunity to see good and bad of either culture. I that is why I consider myself lucky, having an opportunity get the best of both worlds.

My parents keep talking about their upbringing, having brought up in families of simple living and conservative values. They constantly preached us their values like family values, giving respect to elders and teachers, simple living etc. Naturally, all this has an influence in my personality. We are living at a time of increased global competition. Sustaining this nations prosperity in 21 century, will require us to make use of our talents and abilities in work settings that bring together individuals from diverse backgrounds and cultures.

I learnt that Rutgers is a very big university having thousands of international students from several countries, offers one of the best possible diverse educational environment in the country. I heard a lot about their commitment to Diversity and Inclusiveness. Diversity enriches the educational experience. We learn from those whose experiences, beliefs, and perspectives are different from our own, and these lessons can be taught best in a richly diverse intellectual and social environment. It promotes personal growth--and a healthy society. Diversity challenges stereotyped preconceptions; it encourages critical thinking; and it helps students learn to communicate effectively with people of varied backgrounds.

I think I will greatly benefit from Rutgers University's various colleges in a variety of fields in Science and technology. Being passionate in the study of sciences, I see many opportunities for myself to learn and excel in these premier research institutes. Also, living among students in the campus from different colleges starting from institutes of science & technology to liberal arts, I would get exposure to richly diverse intellectual and social environment.

If I get admission at Rutgers, I intend to take an active part in the university's diversity programs. Apart from my Asian Indian background, there is one more way, I think I can contribute to Rutgers's diversity programs, immediately. Being a recent kidney transplant recipient, I can contribute to fostering awareness of organ transplants in the campus. In spite of my health problems I faced, I tried my best to keep myself active. Here, in my high school and outside, I took active part in several clubs like "Chess club", "Robotics Club" etc.

Finally, I believe education within a diverse setting prepares students to become good citizens in an increasingly complex, pluralistic society; it fosters mutual respect and teamwork; and it helps build communities whose members are judged by the quality of their character and their contributions.

Leah_Writer - / 46  
Oct 5, 2011   #2
Hello!
I love your "twist" on your background with the idea about the ABCDs. I think it would be a great idea to bring that back into the final paragraph of your essay, as a way to kind of tie it all together. You could say something about how you may be American born, but you're not confused about one thing: Rutgers being a great place for you. I think your focus on diversity at Rutgers is a really good idea, and you can even write more about how you could contribute and how you want to be in a diverse environment,

One thing you might want to do, though, is look over the essay for grammatical errors. I spotted a few things like runon sentences or one that says "I that is why I consider myself lucky." This often happens when you are working on an essay and making changes, so it's always a good idea to go back and look through one more time. One trick I like to use is to read each sentence out loud to myself, but do them in backwards order, starting with the last sentence. It really helps you pay attention to what you're reading, and then you spot mechanical errors more easily.

Good luck in your admissions process!
OP pavan360 1 / 1  
Oct 7, 2011   #3
Leah_Writer
thank you
any other comments
kelseyxramirez 2 / 5  
Oct 8, 2011   #4
i think it's important in any essay to not only TELL them what you are going to do, but SHOW them and I think that giving them examples of the clubs and activities you're planning to join is a step in the right direction. I also like how you made it more personal and gave that example of "Desi."

I think you should take out the "Finally" in the last paragraph, but other than that just read it a coule of times, even out loud to yourself and make sure that it SOUNDS right.


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