It's unbelievable how each year, ever since I began high school, what appeared to be my perfectly laid plans for my future have deteriorated beyond my control. For as long as I can remember, I had aspirations of being a lawyer; I made it priority to enroll in all the law-related courses that my school offered. As I am now entering my senior year of high school, I seem to be totally oblivious to what I really want to major in.
As I look back on it now, I realize that I cannot become the lawyer that I once desired to be. It became obvious to me that, that dream was not only my own, but also that of my family. My parents often spoke of me becoming a lawyer, being very wealthy, and supporting the family's financial needs; and although their extreme enthusiasm continued throughout my childhood, mine rapidly diminished; until finally one day I decided that I no longer wanted to be a lawyer. I can remember how hard it seemed to tell my parents, of my final decision. I am not certain why I suddenly changed my mind about becoming a lawyer, but a part of me is certainly glad I did.
My ultimate goal for the future is to be content regardless of what I choose to do. I want to be comfortable with my decisions, be able to accept and forgive the things that I cannot change, and most of all be able to achieve the goals that I have set forth. It took some time but I've come to the conclusion that I cannot measure my success on the sole basis of others. I will only see the fruits of my labor if I do what is best for me.
I recognize that I don't have all the answers right now and that it is probably in my best interest that I don't. I have also accepted that no matter what I do in life, I will never be completely satisfied; and that's how it should be, always looking for something more, and always striving for something better.