I ll start of with a warning, it is a bit long (10 Paragraphs) if you have the time please go through it. Any feed back is genuinely appreciated.
I specially need help with the paragraph That is in bold.
Prompt:
Outline the reasons you have decided to apply to the program or programs, as well as details and factors relevant to the review of your application.
Please include, if applicable, reasons for poor performance at post secondary level. You may attach an additional page if necessary
After a brief look at my application, it is clear that I have aspired to work in the field of aeronautics, however I am applying for admissions in Mechanical Engineering (1st choice) and Electrical Engineer (2nd choice) at RU . After extensively researching, engineering as a career and talking to a few engineers, I have come to the conclusion that it is fairly common for a mechanical engineer to work in aeronautics, as skills learnt and applied by both Aeronautics and Mechanical engineers are fairly similar.
By studying and practicing mechanical side of engineering, I believe I will be able to apply my skills on a border range. As a future mechanical engineer I will have the potential to gain valuable experience from other industries, which will not only give me a different prospective on the challenges that the industry faces today, it will enable me to think outside the box and innovatively.
My career goal is, to one day work in Research and Development, in an industry leading company like Bombardier or Boeing Canada. In my opinion, the biggest challenge that an airlines and airplane manufacturers faces today is the rising cost of fuel, airlines are constantly demanding more efficient engines or lighter airframes, that will help them cut cost of their biggest expenditure, which is fuel.
A Mechanical engineer, with his/her broad range of knowledge and experience will be able to draw inspiration and incorporate his/her ideas from different industries. One example of this is, a Mechanical Engineer has an extensive understanding of material science, and composites, the most advanced airplanes ever built by Boeing is partly made up of carbon-fiber composite instead of aluminum, making it much lighter and fuel efficient. Its developing this type of ingenuity and problem solving ability I would like to work on.
I would also like to point out that, my second choice, electrical engineering nicely compliments my previous education and experience as an avionics technician, which is essentially an airplane electrical technician. As an avionics technician, I have gained working and practical knowledge of electricity and power generation and its importance in aircrafts. Learning and having further understanding of electrical engineering will greatly improve my skill set.
Now I would like to talk a little about my grades and my previous post secondary education. So far I have attended and successfully graduated from two Applied Arts and Technology programs. My first post secondary education was of two years, I studied Aircraft Maintenance Engineering at CC. I graduated with honors in avionics specialization, with a Cumulative GPA of 3.916.
For my second post secondary education, I attended SCAAT, here I would like to draw your attention to my transcript, you will find that most of my grades are a balanced mix of A's and B's. However, in very few courses I was unable to maintain a similar high mark. If you look closely to my original high school transcript (M C I), you will find all my grade 12 courses were college level courses. However all the courses that I was unable to perform, while in college, required a previous knowledge of grade 12 Calculus, Advanced Functions and University level Physics.
Without these prerequisites I was unable to understand a lot of the material that was being taught in class. There was no option of dropping these courses, so I had to make the best of the situation. I tried doing everything I could think of, I attended peer tutoring sessions, I also got help from paid professional tutoring services to cope with these courses. However, as the majority of my marks were derived from weekly scheduled tests and pop quizzes on new topics, I was simply unable to bring my mark up to an A or a B.
Now I would like to draw your attention to my other secondary education transcript, (D B S L). Here you will find all 6 Grade 12 University level courses. Including Physics, Advanced Functions and Calculus. My marks range from low 80's to 90's. This proves that I am capable of handling courses intensive in Math and Physics.
In conclusion, My marks from CC college transcript (mostly A's), majority of my courses from SCAAT (mix of A's and B's) and my marks from 6 grade 12 U courses (80's-90's) reflect my good studying habits, and my ability to cope with a difficult course load.
Thank you for taking the time to read this essay.
After extensively researching, engineering extensive research on engineering as a career and talking to a few engineers, I have come to the conclusion learned that it is fairly common for a mechanical engineer to work in aeronautics, as the skills learned and applied by both Aeronautical and Mechanical engineers are similar.
By studying and practicing mechanical side of mechanical engineering, I believe I will be able to apply my skills on a border range. As a future mechanical engineer I will have the potential to gain valuable experience from other industries, which will not only give me a different prospective perspective (or did you mean prospective?) on the challenges that the industry faces today but also enable me to think outside the box.
My career goal is to one day work in Research and Development for an industry leading company like Bombardier or Boeing Canada. In my opinion, the biggest challenge that an airlines and airplane manufacturers faces today is the rising cost of fuel. Airlines are constantly demanding more efficient engines or lighter airframes, that will help them cut the cost of their biggest expenditure - fuel.
As an engineer with a broad range of knowledge and experience, I hope to draw inspiration and incorporate ideas from different industries. One example of this is Furthermore, I aim to achieve and extensive understanding of materials science - in particular, composites. One such work that inspired me was the most advanced airplane built by Boeing, which is partly made up of carbon-fiber composite instead of aluminum, making it much lighter and fuel efficient.. It is this development of ingenuity and problem-solving that inspired me to pursue Engineering
There are many grammatical errors in this essay and too wordy. Try to be to-the-point. The 3rd paragraph describes what an Engineer does and if I was an admissions officer, I would like to know how these things attract and pertain to you, as a person. Like the prompt states: "Outline the reasons..."\
I am a student looking to pursue Aerospace as well and I wish you all the best in your applications!!! :D
