Why do you want to attend Pratt? (personal statement)

Question: Why do you want to attend Pratt and what do you hope to accomplish from your education? - No specified length, but I really want to try and cut it down from 1,000 words to at least 700

Although pursuing a career in animation is a new dream of mine, I have always been passionate about art. As a young child, I showed off my doodles and nodded proudly whenever someone asked me if I was an artist. What child at that age didn't think they are an artist? Seemingly no different than the next kid, I eagerly pulled out my box of crayons in restaurants and surveyed the placemat filled with connect-the-dots, word finds and crossword puzzles. Not content with the standard fare of placemat coloring, I would flip the paper over and start sketching whatever interesting things were in front of me (a habit I am guilty of still today).

Spending my earliest years in Southern California has also shaped my interest in being an artist. I was very fortunate to be able to soak up the natural beauty of flora, fauna and beaches as well as the varied and vivid culture of Laguna Beach, Palm Springs, Newport Beach, Pasadena, and Santa Barbara to name a few. Their shops and galleries particularly fascinated me - placing their crafty wares and paintings of gorgeous California landscapes in the windows while street artists used bright colors in their portraits and still lifes.

This way of observing life and telling stories through art has stuck with me since my family moved to the opposite coast. And while living in the center of suburban Massachusetts is quite different from the vibrant and expressive west coast, it has afforded me many opportunities and perspectives to explore and shape my art and education. Always enthusiastic with my art classes in elementary and middle school, I passionately added art electives to my rigorous junior year high school schedule and joined an artists' studio to expand my skills. Similarly, I enjoyed learning about computer technology and programming languages and took my share of those electives. And then an epiphany occurred mid-way through my junior year. I finally found my niche in the art world - the union of technology with art. I decided to major in animation!

A career in animation is a natural to me. As early as I can remember, I have been fascinated in the work that goes into my favorite television cartoons and I am always the first in my friend group to see the latest animated movie and marvel at how it is done. Set on this goal, I have long researched and revised my college list to include schools which provide excellent animation programs and their applicants' portfolio requirements. Since I only started taking art prerequisite classes and joined an artists' studio as a second semester junior, I realized it would take a lot of work and time for me to catch up with others applying to these very competitive programs. Undaunted, I applied, was accepted, and poured myself into the Art Institute of Boston's six-credit summer Young Artist Residency Program. My classes in animation, graphic novel illustration, videography, figure drawing, and still life drawing have further developed and strengthened my art skills as well as solidified my love and interest in animation and ensuing career. My decision to major in animation may have happened recently, but my desire and motivation to work in this field fuels me to do whatever is necessary to succeed.

Why do I want to attend Pratt Institute? Drawn to applying at only highly-recognized art and design schools in/near a city, I was immediately interested in Pratt. My interest in attending Pratt has only increased after multiple visits researching the school's website and spending a great day touring the campus in April. I had visited several other schools before Pratt and realized until you visit the campus, you can never know for sure if you "click". Pratt was so much more than I ever expected that I already envision myself as a fall 2010 undergraduate student. I am thrilled the campus is only a short subway ride from Manhattan and that it is so beautiful with its fabulous sculpture gardens and magnolia trees. Equal in importance to my feeling instantly comfortable on the campus ground is knowing that the education I receive is state of the industry.

To that end, I had the luxury of a scheduled tour and meeting at the Department of Digital Arts with Ms. Melissa Barrett. Not only was Ms. Barrett informative and enthusiastic to speak with, but I was warmly welcomed in to one of the computer labs by a handful of seniors working on their senior projects. Even in their sleep deprived, stressed out, over-caffeinated state, I was able to see their passion and happiness driving them forward. I learned first-hand about the program's challenging courses, amazing faculty, and rewarding internship and job opportunities. Talking to the seniors also made me realize something else. Being at Pratt would introduce me to several remarkable artists, the students.

What do I hope to accomplish from my education? "In the end it's not about the grades you make," my art teacher once said about school, "but the hands you shake." My favorite artist, Audrey Kawasaki, attended Pratt for two years, which further deepens my connection to the school and assures me I would be shaking hands with very talented company. By attending Pratt, I will have the ability to learn from its highly creative, experienced and accomplished faculty. I will be constantly challenged as a student and a creative thinker by its leading edge and demanding curriculum. I will make new connections with students similar to myself, my interests and ambitions. I will have access to one of the most artistic and important cities in the United States to grow. My mind is set on working in the animation field. Pratt is the perfect school to help get me there.

I think I'm somewhat OK on the grammar, I just really need help on how to shorten it up a bit. I suppose I could remove the first paragraph or so entirely...but I like the sentimental/personal feel of it...

Wow this is long and I only read your two paragraphs.

I think you go into waaaaaaaaaaay too much detail on how much you like, and have liked, art. Whilst this can be important in your essay, I doubt that the depth that you cover this in is remotely necessary.

The essay prompt is basically asking you why you want to attend Pratt. Y
Yes, I believe that you can prove how much you like art.
The more important thing to address however, is why you would like to study art at Pratt and how studying art there will be beneficial and helpful to you. What do you expect to learn from there, and how do you plan on benefiting from what the University has to offer.

Revise your essay first and post a concise version, removing all of the superfluous information. It will make the job of revision for people on this site easier.

Most of this can be cut.

aaaalright, I guess I agree with all of that, Liebe. As for your suggestion, Simone, i feel like taking that section out means that i would be erasing the part in my essay that actually answers the question...

to whoever reviews this essay next: Would it be logical for me to cut out the first three paragraphs and begin with the fourth ("A career in animation is a natural to me...")? that way my essay is shortened to around 600 words.

It's up to you. Just know that every other applicant has researched the school, etc. You're using valuable space to tell them about their own school. You could say why Pratt is right for you in about a sentence and then use that valuable space to say why you are right for Pratt.

Since I can no longer edit my first post and replace it with my new one, it's going down here. Once again, no length requirement. I think I did better this time, but I'm still open to ways of shortening it.

As a child, I would watch my favorite television cartoons, animated films and video games, wondering how they were created, but never imagining how much I aspired to create those images and tell those stories. I had always enjoyed learning about different art mediums in elementary and middle school and expanded my knowledge of computer technology and programming languages in high school. And then while exploring colleges and career options in my junior year of high school I fully realized my passion and niche in the art world - the union of technology with art; animation. Undaunted by the time and work needed to catch up with others applying to colleges with very competitive art programs, I added fine arts electives to my rigorous junior year schedule and joined an artists' studio to expand my skills. I applied, was accepted, and poured myself into the Art Institute of Boston's six-credit summer Young Artist Residency Program. My classes in animation, graphic novel illustration, videography, figure drawing, and still life drawing have further developed my art skills as well as solidified my love for animation.

Of all the renowned art and design schools I am applying to, I want to attend Pratt Institute to study animation. Pratt's distinguished reputation, professors, students, and proximity to NYC, all contained in a beautiful campus, complete with sculpture gardens and magnolia trees, is my ideal learning environment. By attending Pratt, I will have the ability to learn from its highly creative, experienced and accomplished faculty; I will be constantly challenged as a student and a creative thinker by its leading edge and demanding curriculum; I will have access within Pratt to state of the industry technology including professional animation software tools, while outside of the campus is one of the most artistic and influential cities in the United States. I would be very proud to be a part of the Pratt legacy.

I have very high expectations of what I need to accomplish from my education because I am very clear in my career goal. To work in the intensely competitive animation art and technology industry, my higher education is crucial to my success. My talent and passion for animation will only carry me so far; I need to learn and excel at a school that furthers my abilities and bears relationships with the creative and animation communities. From all information I have gathered through visits and conversations, I know an education from Pratt will meet all my learning expectations as well as open the doors of opportunity - the doors of building my place in the artistic world and the doors leading to exciting new places for my mind to explore.

My education in addition to supporting my career goals needs to also accomplish making positive contributions on campus and beyond. To me, the ideal art and design school values not just exceptional and creative students, but good citizens and leads by example. The mission of Pratt Institute "to educate artists and creative professionals to be responsible contributors to society" resonates strongly with me. I know I will continue to contribute positively as a member of the Pratt student body and greater community. During high school, I actively participated in a variety of clubs, theater arts, sports, and other activities while also being involved in social action causes, contributing to preserving the environment, and raising funds for charitable causes. Pratt's conviction to prepare its graduates to help resolve domestic and global challenges further deepens my interest in attending Pratt.

My decision to major in animation may have happened recently, but my desire and motivation to work in this field fuels me to do whatever is necessary to succeed. I know I have more to learn than I can even think possible, and a degree will not be easily attained. My mind is set on working in the animation field and Pratt is the perfect school to get me there.

"but never imagining how much I would one day aspire to create those images and tell those stories."

Actually, after finishing your essay, I'd say you should try revising the entire essay to say everything you do now in about half the word count. Combine sentences, cut out wordy constructions, replace weak verbs with strong ones. Then repost.