"An autobiographical essay"
I Konstantin Korr wrote this essay. PLEASE NOBODY STEAL THIS PLEASE!!!
im posting it here for constructive criticism. Thank you in advance
It takes a person a whole lifetime to write their autobiography. Right now I'm not that person. Even though I am only 17, I have a lot to tell. Some of my events were pessimistic, like my struggles with dyslexia or when I had the most awful teacher in the world. But I somehow battled through all my adversities. I also had a lot of positive events happen in my life, like when I got into Brooklyn Tech, or when I got my first hit in baseball. So far my life is short, but I do have a lot to tell.
Both my parents were born in Ukraine and struggled through the economic depression. They couldn't finish their education because they were in the bottom of the social class. They heard about the American Dream and immediately made plans to come to America. But the American Dream didn't happen for my parents because they still couldn't finish their education and nobody wanted to help two young adults with a child. So my parents decided to invest in me.
This investment was not easy for them because I had trouble with the English Language. I had dyslexia. I just couldn't learn English. But my parents didn't give up on me. They inspired me to learn because they didn't want me to have the hardship they had in their lives. So I pushed myself to learn the language. I conquered my dyslexia because I was determined to beat it and I wanted to make my parents happy. I received an award at my fifth grade graduation for being "the student who achieved the most". This was one of my parent's happiest days. A couple of years later I got into Brooklyn Tech. But the journey wasn't easy. I again struggled with my dyslexia and I had people say that I wasn't good enough to get into a good high school. Even my own relatives said I couldn't get in. That's when I made a promise to my parents. Saying that I will get into a good high school and that I will not struggle like my parents did. So I spent countless hours studying and I did accomplish my goal by getting into Brooklyn tech. It's because I was determined to achieve my goal. But Tech was not easy because I ran into the worst teacher in the school. She made my life a living hell by not accepting my homework and saying that I didn't belong in tech. She made my life difficult but instead of faltering under the pressure. She instead motivated me and I passed her final test with flying colors.
In my Junior year of tech I got into the math major, which is one of the hardest majors in my school, only 33 kids out of 1200 get into this major. I also work in the social studies department where I help out all the teachers. I make copies for them, grade their tests, run errands for them. By doing this I accumulated over 405 volunteer hours. Since my sophomore year I was named the Social Studies Squad leader, which I take with get respect. I also joined my friend's baseball team when I was a sophomore. This was my first year ever playing on a organized team. I was able to keep up with people who played since they were five. I helped get my team our first win, when I got my first hit. I was really excited because I worked really hard to become good. I eventually got our team to get into the play-offs. But we couldn't win it all and ended up winning fourth place in our neighborhood. I won the rookie of the year award for the whole league, which I am really proud off.
I viewed Tech not as a source of knowledge nor a place to study. It's a place for opportunity. I want to keep all of my doors open so I can become a valuable member of our society. I made a promise to my parents that I will be the first generation to go to college and I hope Pace University can be the place where I expand my wings and complete my parents promise.
I Konstantin Korr wrote this essay. PLEASE NOBODY STEAL THIS PLEASE!!!
im posting it here for constructive criticism. Thank you in advance
It takes a person a whole lifetime to write their autobiography. Right now I'm not that person. Even though I am only 17, I have a lot to tell. Some of my events were pessimistic, like my struggles with dyslexia or when I had the most awful teacher in the world. But I somehow battled through all my adversities. I also had a lot of positive events happen in my life, like when I got into Brooklyn Tech, or when I got my first hit in baseball. So far my life is short, but I do have a lot to tell.
Both my parents were born in Ukraine and struggled through the economic depression. They couldn't finish their education because they were in the bottom of the social class. They heard about the American Dream and immediately made plans to come to America. But the American Dream didn't happen for my parents because they still couldn't finish their education and nobody wanted to help two young adults with a child. So my parents decided to invest in me.
This investment was not easy for them because I had trouble with the English Language. I had dyslexia. I just couldn't learn English. But my parents didn't give up on me. They inspired me to learn because they didn't want me to have the hardship they had in their lives. So I pushed myself to learn the language. I conquered my dyslexia because I was determined to beat it and I wanted to make my parents happy. I received an award at my fifth grade graduation for being "the student who achieved the most". This was one of my parent's happiest days. A couple of years later I got into Brooklyn Tech. But the journey wasn't easy. I again struggled with my dyslexia and I had people say that I wasn't good enough to get into a good high school. Even my own relatives said I couldn't get in. That's when I made a promise to my parents. Saying that I will get into a good high school and that I will not struggle like my parents did. So I spent countless hours studying and I did accomplish my goal by getting into Brooklyn tech. It's because I was determined to achieve my goal. But Tech was not easy because I ran into the worst teacher in the school. She made my life a living hell by not accepting my homework and saying that I didn't belong in tech. She made my life difficult but instead of faltering under the pressure. She instead motivated me and I passed her final test with flying colors.
In my Junior year of tech I got into the math major, which is one of the hardest majors in my school, only 33 kids out of 1200 get into this major. I also work in the social studies department where I help out all the teachers. I make copies for them, grade their tests, run errands for them. By doing this I accumulated over 405 volunteer hours. Since my sophomore year I was named the Social Studies Squad leader, which I take with get respect. I also joined my friend's baseball team when I was a sophomore. This was my first year ever playing on a organized team. I was able to keep up with people who played since they were five. I helped get my team our first win, when I got my first hit. I was really excited because I worked really hard to become good. I eventually got our team to get into the play-offs. But we couldn't win it all and ended up winning fourth place in our neighborhood. I won the rookie of the year award for the whole league, which I am really proud off.
I viewed Tech not as a source of knowledge nor a place to study. It's a place for opportunity. I want to keep all of my doors open so I can become a valuable member of our society. I made a promise to my parents that I will be the first generation to go to college and I hope Pace University can be the place where I expand my wings and complete my parents promise.