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Awful Common App Essay- ("the story of the Christmas tree")


Blondie 1 / 5  
Jan 1, 2009   #1
Once upon a time, "far down in the forest, where the warm sun and the fresh air made a sweet resting-place, grew a pretty little fir-tree; and yet it was not happy, it wished so much to be tall like its companions- the pines and firs which grew around it. The sun shone, and the soft air fluttered its leaves, and the little peasant children passed by, prattling merrily, but the fir-tree heeded them not." This is how the story of the Christmas tree begins as written by Hans Christian Andersen. We all know how this story ends...

Every Christmas millions of trees are cut and sold by merchants in market places. Romanians go, negotiate the price and then proudly carry their wanna-be Christmas tree home. I wonder how many of them ever had second thoughts about purchasing the tree and then throwing it away, gradually destroying nature.

I remembered reading a joke: A quiet young man sat on the Titanic, drinking brandy and puffing a cigar, while the ship was sinking. Stunned, a passenger who was trying to save himself asked:

-Mister, are you crazy? Don't you see that ship is sinking?
-So what? It's not my ship; it's my dad's, answered calmly the young man.
"So what if they cut the entire forest? It's not mine." Remember, I come from a nation who was used to only 2 hours of TV per day, who drove a Dacia car every two Sundays, had periodical blackouts due to efforts to pay the debts and was obliged to collect jars and paper for recycling. One might say that communism was a very nature-friendly dictatorship, but it gave Romanians their distinctive attitude towards things that do not have a direct impact on them.

I was no better, until I stumbled upon some interesting facts: Did you know that the surface of the Romanian Carpathians accounts for 50% of the European bears and 35% of the European wolves? That we are the proud hosts of a type of fish that dates from approximately 30 million years ago and that is not to be found in any other country? All this made me comprehend that exquisite places like the Danube Delta and the quaint landscape of the Carpathians are my legacy, so it is my duty to guard and protect them.

I realized then that all these years I have been embracing the Romanian philosophy with its characteristic attitude of impotence and ignorance, so I decided to change that.

Turns out that the Geography Club was starting a paper-recycling program, so I went home and collected 2 boxes of paper. I couldn't believe that I was going to throw that away. I persuaded my classmates to follow in my footsteps and we gathered over 40 kilograms of paper. I then understood that it is in my power to act and influence those around me to care for the environment.

I almost forgot: this is my story, not Andersen's, so I'm going to have things my way.
One day, the little fir tree got to travel. Some men came and carefully placed his roots in a bright red pot. They loaded him in a truck along with other fir trees and after a bumpy road, the fir tree found itself among other of his kind in a market. Beautifully lined up, they were unaware of what the future would bring. A tall white-haired man came to the fir tree, checked him out and then quickly disappeared into the crowd. The fir tree was disappointed; he was hoping that this would be his chance to shine. His sadness quickly faded away when he saw that the man returned and brought along a little girl that was clinging to his arm. She hugged the tree and regarded it with admiration, like she had a precious jewel in her hands.

When they got home, they placed it near the window and started to embellish it with gorgeous red ornaments. A star of gold tinsel was fixed at the top of the Christmas tree by the hand of the little girl helped by her grandfather. The little fir tree was proud to support the weight of all the shiny red globes and the golden garlands and it gloated when the entire family came to see it and gazed at it with appreciation.

That was just the first of many Christmases the little fir tree would spend with its adoptive family, bringing them more joy with every year that passed. Every tale must end at last and with every year that passes more and more people live my happy ending. It is my Christmas wish that every Romanian gets to live it and become better and wiser, at least when it comes to Mother Nature.
paradox 6 / 17  
Jan 1, 2009   #2
I like it. It flows really well, and keeps the reader interested, which is the most important part. And it does reveal your personality IMO, although I'm not an expert at essay reading lol

Whats the title?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13320 129  
Jan 1, 2009   #3
Every Christmas millions of trees are cut and sold by merchants in market places. Romanians go to buy them , negotiate the price and then proudly carry their Christmas trees home.

I was no better, until I stumbled upon some interesting facts: Did you know that the Romanian Carpathians accounts for 50% of the European bears and 35% of the European wolves?

That we are the proud hosts of a type of fish that dates from approximately 30 million years ago that is not found in any other country?

It turns out that the Geography Club was starting a paper-recycling program, so I went home and collected 2 boxes of paper.

They loaded him in a truck along with other fir trees and after a bumpy ride , the fir tree found itself among others of his kind in a market.

I hope this is helpful, good luck in school!

:)


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