"A Balanced University" - Northwestern Statement

Hi, I was recently informed that I am a QuestBridge finalist and through QuestBridge I am applying to NU. I'm a math and science person and writing has always been a bit of a challenge for me especially when it comes to writing college essays. This is my first draft of my personal statement. The prompt is: What are the unique qualities of Northwestern- and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying- that make you want to attend the university? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you identified?

+'s are only there for show separation of paragraphs

+ The first thing that caught my eye during my research of Northwestern was the aesthetic qualities of the campus' environment and its buildings. The white cement buildings and collegiate architecture pop out against the lush green lawns and trees and the cold blue waters of Lake Michigan. From where I live New York City and the Atlantic coast can be met in a few moments' notice and the shores of Lake Michigan and Chicago are of the same relationship with Evanston. The Northwestern community would be a home away from home to me. When I found out what was going on inside and around the campus I was hooked on applying to NU.

+ Northwestern can satisfy any educational and social want that I could possibly have during my college career. What caught my attention was the amount of social opportunities in such a prestigious and intellectually stimulated college environment. I have never considered myself being involved with the Greek lifestyle but NU's fraternity culture is very prominent and I would like to be a part of it. Even outside of fraternities NU's social dorm lifestyle appears to be sufficient to any social needs. A nice outing to the Windy City or taking a Saturday off for a Wildcat football game seems like a perfect way to relieve the stresses of a rigorous academic setting.

+ I was attracted to Northwestern's McCormick School of Engineering during my search because of their initiative to teach students ways to use creativity as well as traditional engineering methodology to counter modern obstacles. I have established during my high school career that I have a desire to solve problems and McCormick's commitment to producing leaders in the field of engineering will help me find efficient and innovative ways to find solutions. I hope to major in chemical engineering and I know that McCormick will pass on to me the skills needed to tackle issues such as controlling pollution and making alternative fuels. I would also be interested in participating in cross disciplinary projects like NUsolar and inNUvation to enhance my skillset and promote myself as an elite prospect for employment and research.

I plan on adding a short summation paragraph at the end but I'm not sure if it's entirely necessary. I thought this draft summed up my thoughts on NU but I haven't had to much time to focus on this one because I've also had to do supplements for four other schools.

Any sort of criticism will be appreciated!

I'd actually suggest starting with your second paragraph. Going straight into detail on how the scenery caught your eye seems a litttle abrupt. Remember, they want o know how you will be as a community member, not if you like the (admittedly gorgeous) campus.

Also, congratulations on becoming a finalist! That's really cool!

Start with: The aesthetic qualities of Northwestern's campus caught my eye as I researched about the university.