This is my college personal essay and I was hoping for any feedback/critics. I am also going back and forth between what prompt does my essay answer more because I feel like it goes in both categories so if anyone could help with that as well I would be immensely thankful! :) Here are the two prompts:
1.) Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
2.) The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I was eleven when I first truly looked into the mirror.
As my arm rose above me in a sweeping arc and my right leg développéed outward, my eyes locked onto my reflection in a moment of reckoning. The floor-to-ceiling mirror enveloped the ballet studio and showcased the identical black leotards, pink tights, and wrap-around skirts. But at that moment, the desired sameness vanished. My thick hair, dark skin tone, and distinct bone structure have never been more prominent. It was 11 when I first noticed the obvious difference from my peers-I was the only Indian girl in the entire ballet academy.
Growing up in a traditional Indian household, ballet wasn't a typical choice. While my cousins and friends were learning Bharatanatyam or Kathak, classical dance forms deeply rooted in our shared heritage, I had fallen in love with ballet. Despite how different it was from the culture I came from, it called to me like a siren. By age six, I had completely devoted myself to the art form. The cultural differences extended beyond just dance styles, though-ballet, emphasizing uniformity, left little room for diversity.
The weight of this uniformity grew heavier: isolation was a deep-rooted issue I battled with for many years. Ballet emphasizes sameness-a core aspect is synchronization-everyone should be identical on stage. I knew this all too well. From wearing light pink tights to cover my darker skin to straightening my natural hair, I had to put more effort into altering my appearance on stage, while others didn't. Offstage, the isolation was even more palpable. Team dinners were quietly planned, leading to my absence-but the posts that followed after never felt louder: "You don't belong."
It was during these times of disconnect between my peers and myself that I felt like I was drifting aimlessly at sea, questioning where I fit in. The more isolated I felt, the more I turned to ballet. I started to spend more time at the studio. With an average of 22 hours a week, I used dancing as an escape.
But the more I immersed myself in dancing, the more I began to realize the art form itself was teaching me to prevail. Discipline became my ultimate anchor. The same discipline that helped me master a pirouette sequence,
that gave me energy to get up each time I fell and try again: was the same discipline that gave me the strength to show up everyday and be present. Discipline was the driving motor of the quiet tenacity I had acquired.
There was also a strong sense of adaptability ingrained in me. Every day would bring challenges, whether it was adjusting to a new choreography or internalizing criticism from instructors. I had to physically mold my body into a stronger form. I realized that just as my body physically adapted to different circumstances, my mind had to also learn to adapt to difficult environments. Dancing also demanded utter focus. When I was in front of the mirror practicing my assemblés and jetés, I was steadily honing in on tiny, precise techniques. This focus extended beyond the ballet mirror and seeped into my life as well, teaching me to block out negative comments and focus on my own personal growth instead.
Ballet gifted me the keys to success, but more importantly, it helped me see that my background wasn't in any way a limitation. The resilience I gained through ballet has shaped me into a more confident person, ready to embrace my identity as an Indian ballerina. Standing in a room of ballerinas who shared something more than their love for dancing no longer felt isolating. I will always continue to push boundaries, as I've done with ballet. In any environment or scenario-I will approach each challenge with discipline, focus, and the adaptability to overcome it, carrying with me the values I've gained not just as a ballerina but as an individual.
1.) Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
2.) The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I was eleven when I first truly looked into the mirror.
As my arm rose above me in a sweeping arc and my right leg développéed outward, my eyes locked onto my reflection in a moment of reckoning. The floor-to-ceiling mirror enveloped the ballet studio and showcased the identical black leotards, pink tights, and wrap-around skirts. But at that moment, the desired sameness vanished. My thick hair, dark skin tone, and distinct bone structure have never been more prominent. It was 11 when I first noticed the obvious difference from my peers-I was the only Indian girl in the entire ballet academy.
Growing up in a traditional Indian household, ballet wasn't a typical choice. While my cousins and friends were learning Bharatanatyam or Kathak, classical dance forms deeply rooted in our shared heritage, I had fallen in love with ballet. Despite how different it was from the culture I came from, it called to me like a siren. By age six, I had completely devoted myself to the art form. The cultural differences extended beyond just dance styles, though-ballet, emphasizing uniformity, left little room for diversity.
The weight of this uniformity grew heavier: isolation was a deep-rooted issue I battled with for many years. Ballet emphasizes sameness-a core aspect is synchronization-everyone should be identical on stage. I knew this all too well. From wearing light pink tights to cover my darker skin to straightening my natural hair, I had to put more effort into altering my appearance on stage, while others didn't. Offstage, the isolation was even more palpable. Team dinners were quietly planned, leading to my absence-but the posts that followed after never felt louder: "You don't belong."
It was during these times of disconnect between my peers and myself that I felt like I was drifting aimlessly at sea, questioning where I fit in. The more isolated I felt, the more I turned to ballet. I started to spend more time at the studio. With an average of 22 hours a week, I used dancing as an escape.
But the more I immersed myself in dancing, the more I began to realize the art form itself was teaching me to prevail. Discipline became my ultimate anchor. The same discipline that helped me master a pirouette sequence,
that gave me energy to get up each time I fell and try again: was the same discipline that gave me the strength to show up everyday and be present. Discipline was the driving motor of the quiet tenacity I had acquired.
There was also a strong sense of adaptability ingrained in me. Every day would bring challenges, whether it was adjusting to a new choreography or internalizing criticism from instructors. I had to physically mold my body into a stronger form. I realized that just as my body physically adapted to different circumstances, my mind had to also learn to adapt to difficult environments. Dancing also demanded utter focus. When I was in front of the mirror practicing my assemblés and jetés, I was steadily honing in on tiny, precise techniques. This focus extended beyond the ballet mirror and seeped into my life as well, teaching me to block out negative comments and focus on my own personal growth instead.
Ballet gifted me the keys to success, but more importantly, it helped me see that my background wasn't in any way a limitation. The resilience I gained through ballet has shaped me into a more confident person, ready to embrace my identity as an Indian ballerina. Standing in a room of ballerinas who shared something more than their love for dancing no longer felt isolating. I will always continue to push boundaries, as I've done with ballet. In any environment or scenario-I will approach each challenge with discipline, focus, and the adaptability to overcome it, carrying with me the values I've gained not just as a ballerina but as an individual.
Do You Need