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basic-yet-profound message - "Why do you want to enter medicine?" Amherst Essay



forsche500 1 / 4  
Dec 27, 2014   #1
Please respond to one of the following quotations in an essay of not more than 300 words. It is not necessary to research, read, or refer to the texts from which these quotations are taken; we are looking for original, personal responses to these short excerpts. Remember that your essay should be personal in nature and not simply an argumentative essay.

Prompt 3: "It seems to me incumbent upon this and other schools' graduates to recognize their responsibility to the public interest...unless the graduates of this college...are willing to put back into our society those talents, the broad sympathy, the understanding, the compassion... then obviously the presuppositions upon which our democracy are based are bound to be fallible."

The staccato of the clocks and the distant mumbling of the nurses reverberated to and fro across the walls of an empty ER. Volunteering at the Rumah Sakit Cahaya Kawaluyan Hospital, I lingered, desperately waiting for my shift to end. As a battalion of nurses and physicians prepared to take respite from a day's long-fought battle against maladies and injuries, Dr. Franklin, a standing physician, approached me with an inquiry:

"Why do you want to enter medicine?"

"I'm amazed by the human body and..."

"That's not gonna do you any good in the long term," he remonstrated almost condescendingly.

I was intrigued; here was Dr. Franklin, a remarkably quiet man, finally breaking the silence he had so familiarized me with.

"Do you know what makes us different from the others? Idealistic but, most of us actually use our scholarship to help people. Again, why do you want to enter medicine?"

Like a scene from a movie, Dr. Franklin grinned and left. His last question resonated in my mind, quelling the sound of his footsteps as he departed. Using the facade of simply asking a question, he transferred a basic-yet-profound message. The trademark of medical practice along with most fields is the translation of science, history, math into a mold flavored by pragmatism. Fascination coupled by a desire to engineer knowledge into a form that could very well affect others is a powerful synergy. Dr. Franklin renewed an awry perspective, providing a realization that the approach of any subject for the sole desire of knowledge, while devoid of any practicality will result in the failure to truly "go far."

The doctor's theme extends to nearly every facet of knowledge. Given an erudition without a need for application renders what was learned as obsolete.

melramadhani 16 / 46  
Dec 27, 2014   #2
I didn't understand the prompt well, as you cut it in pieces, so I can't work aout how this essay relate to the prompt. I know Amherst's prompts are lengthy, but you can summarize them to make it clear.

Yet I think your essay is pretty appealing and concise, enjoyable to read, yet still maintain the level of writing and word usages that Amherst unofficially seeks. Your essay doesn't seem to be coming out straight from thesaurus, although I had to check some words in my dictionary.

A minor mistake : "rumah sakit" means "hospital", thus you should write "Cahaya Kawaluyan Hospital" instead of "Rumah Sakit Cahaya Kawaluyan Hospital" (that's a major redundancy).

By the way, how could you volunteer at hospital? Did you apply yourself, or you were organized by certain institution? I live in Indonesia too, and volunteering is not common here.
OP forsche500 1 / 4  
Dec 27, 2014   #3
Hey, sorry for the lack of info on the prompt, I'll make sure make it clearer. Haha it was a LOONNGGG process to make them admit me. I met with the marketing director, the hospital director, the board, and had to fill in a ridiculous amount of paperwork JUST to let me in. I could tell that the hospital wasn't familiar with people that volunteered just by this process.

Thanks for your reply, I'll revise yours!
OP forsche500 1 / 4  
Dec 27, 2014   #4
(PROMPT EDIT)

The question was: Please respond to one of the following quotations in an essay of not more than 300 words. It is not necessary to research, read, or refer to the texts from which these quotations are taken; we are looking for original, personal responses to these short excerpts. Remember that your essay should be personal in nature and not simply an argumentative essay.


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