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"My battle with a derivative dragon" - UVA prompt



aes1999 2 / 2  
Dec 19, 2016   #1
UVA prompt of how a subject has challenged or surprised you.

Everyone has talents, calculus just is not one of mine. There are people in this world whom I truly believe were put on this earth in order to solve ginormous derivative functions and graph grotesque logarithmic equations. I learned very early on in the beginning of junior year that pre calculus would be a lot harder than expected. You see, I consider myself to be rather good at relitively simple equations and formulae, but calculus seemed to be a whole other ball game. While some of my friends were flying through the material I was spending three times the amount of time necessary to complete a simple problem. Calculus became i path I could not navigate myself, forcing me to seek help from my peers and teachers. This whole concept was new to me as usually I was the great wizard behind the curtain who new all the answers, but now I turned into a clueless Dorothy walking along the off yellow tiles towards the palace of endless equations. Through my journey I was able to gain the courage to pursue my ever so daunting calculus career, the mental capacity to understand and flawlessly execute any trigonomic question thrown my way, the heart to help other like myself so that they too my succeed, and the knowledge of my true potential power that I had with me the entire time. Sometimes when the path ahead seems difficult I begin to doubt my success, but calculus thought me to pursue and for that I am grateful. I believe that everything we are fought in school will help us in our future, now I understand that in my adulthood I will most likely not be using my knowledge of the unit circle in my career path but I will use my fortitude. I am not the best calculus student you will come across, but I am a hard working one, I don't give up in epic battles between the fire breathing derivative dragon, rather I fight twice as hard, and seek new adventures to test my strength.

dreykusuma 4 / 9  
Dec 19, 2016   #2
Hello Aubrey, I would like share some insight regarding your essay.

My first suggestion is to give the reviewer enough information about the purpose of your essay.
It is difficult for the reviewer to improve your essay if they don't know what is the goal of your essay.
Is it related to the admission in some institution?, or just a simple classroom assignment.

The second suggestion is to carefully outline your weakness.
Make sure that you inform the audience a clear idea of how you overcome your weakness.
Your essay clearly inform the audience about your poor ability in calculus.
However, you don't explain clearly of how you working out of your drawback in calculus.
It's not enough to tell the audience that you can overcome the problem by working hard.
You must explain specifically about the kind of hard work you have done to solve the problem.
Any practical approach which can also be done by the audience with the same problem with you.

Hope this would help
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15372  
Dec 19, 2016   #3
Aubrey, before we get to the numerous grammatical problems of your essay, I want to know something first. Is calculus a subject related to your chosen major? It would be best if you present a subject that challenged you because of the way it is related to your plans for your professional career. That way, you can logically represent a reason as to why you had to live up to the challenge and slay this dragon that blocked your path to success. I don't really understand why Calculus is a very important subject in the response. It doesn't have any college bound relevance for you so, you either have to build it up in relation to your chosen major or, choose a different subject to discuss which will better reflect an academic challenge related to your chosen major.

Now, for the grammatical errors, please take note of the following mistakes with corrections:

pre calculus - capitalization, this is a proper noun as it refers to a subject hence, Pre Calculus.
relitively = relatively
... became i path = ... became A path...
... curtain who new all = who KNEW all...
help other like - help OTHERS...
...they too my succeed = too MAY...
but calculus thought - TAUGHT
are fought in - TAUGHT

Most of your grammatical errors are caused by you not being careful while typing and not proof reading before submitting. Make these mistakes with your final essay and the reviewer will definitely not consider your application because he will have the opinion that you are not capable of writing a college paper at all. These mistakes make you seem like a student who doesn't really care about the opinion of the professor with regards to his writing skills. Please be more careful next time. Your admission to college depends upon it.


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