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I want to become Boilermaker / the "Ger" district in Mongolia. WHY PURDUE?



bmb_orgil 3 / 3  
Dec 19, 2016   #1
1. How will opportunities at Purdue support your interests, both in and out of the classroom? (Respond in 100 words or fewer.)

I want to become Boilermaker, but becoming what you want is not easy. Even though they say becoming an engineer at Purdue is hard, I believe that Purdue connects with my personalities. Firstly, I am really attracted to BGR, a program which it will help me to meet new people, but also an opportunity to be one step ahead of the other freshmen. Moreover, joining the chess club at Purdue will give me an opportunity to be with people who share similar interest as me. Playing chess, studying for the finals, and contributing to the campus through my background will get me exhausted, but I can't wait to run through the fountains! (112)

2. Briefly discuss your reasons for pursuing the major you have selected. (Respond in 100 words or fewer.)

Most students are not sure what they want to be when they go to college because of that they are forced into choosing a major by their parents. However, I am not one of those students. I realized what I wanted to change at an early age.

Growing up as a child, I was raised by my Grandpa in the countryside, approximately 400 km from the capital. Journey to my Grandpa's is bit adventurous, takes one through much of Ulaanbaatar. On my way to my grandparents' place I often found myself gazing at buildings lined up along the way, whether under construction or newly finished. Seeing these buildings made me want to jump out of my car, put on a hard hat and get to the site just like an engineer.

Past the city and one saw an entirely different landscape - a wilderness devoid of any buildings and few manmade structures. A place that has no electricity, no sewerages, no apartments, no roads, just fences and gers. We call it the "Ger" district. You can't imagine the life in this place. During the winter, the citizens burn coal in their ger, Mongolian traditional home, while some stay in their luxurious apartments, not paying slightest attention to the other side of the wall. I want to bring in change.

As I arrive at my Grandpa's, I realized I wanted to dedicate myself into becoming a civil engineer. (242)
ALthough the limit is 100 i can't seem to cut it down til 100

Jessica Xie 5 / 10  
Dec 19, 2016   #2
@bmb_orgil
Hi!

Before I made some comments on your first essay, I would like to point out that you may need to post 2 essays in two different threads instead of one. ( I guess it is against the rule in this website, maybe?)

As for your first essay, I think while you are saying Purdue connects with your personalities, I didn't really see how. From my point of view, when you say you are connected with sth, then it means you share something in common. However, your two points: BGR and chess club didn't really show it. I think it's better for you to maybe explain more about BGR, cause as I read I don't really understand what it is and how it connects with your personality. And if possible, I suggest you to skip the "chess club" part. Every university has a chess club and it's not gonna help you to write about it, unless, you really show some super unique characteristics of that chess club.

Considering the word limit, it might be better to focus on just one point that most attracts you. In that way you have enough room to elaborate.

Best Luck!!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15388  
Dec 20, 2016   #3
Bat, I will only be responding to the first statement that you wrote for reasons that Jessica already previously mentioned. The essay that you wrote has me wondering as to whether or not you actually have done any research into the course offerings that the university provides for your major. You do not refer to any actual academic classes that Purdue offers which will help to support your interest in your intellectual development. All of your discussion is centered around your social development on campus. The prompt specifically asks you to discuss your interests both in the classroom and out of the classroom. Therefore, the specific classes that you wish to study in relation to your major must be mentioned as a part of this essay. It should comprise at least the first 50 words in a paragraph format. The social interests that you will be pursing should be in the 2nd paragraph, covering only 50 words as well.


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