I am going to explain briefly on the background of this appeal. Ever since high school, I have been trying to get into the business programs at two of the local universities in Vancouver. I was admitted to simon fraser university but to their bachelor of arts program. After completing the lower division courses, my admission gpa did not meet the cut off and mt first appeal was rejected. I spoke with the undergraduate director for the program and tried to explain to her how i had work experience as well as an accounting internship with a large company with strong references and she told me those qualities did not matter in the decision for admission to the faculty. She informed me that only students who have excruciating circumstances have a chance for admission if they did not meet the gpa cut off. So here is my second appeal to the business faculty after upgrading some of my courses in the previous semester.
Because English is my second language, i feel that my appeal lacks an emotional aspect to it which is what will catch the attention of the admission committee.
Please review my appeal and suggest ways that i can improve it. Thanks!
Dear Undergraduate Admission Directors,
My name is xxxxx, and I am currently entering my fourth year at SFU as of fall 2013. In my fall 2012 semester, I finally completed all my lower division courses and applied to the Beedie School of Business but my application was not successful. I am a strong believer in persistence and this is my second appeal for my admission to the faculty. I am aware that the Business faculty at SFU is highly competitive and my application GPA does not meet the minimum requirement for the lower division courses. I'm writing this letter in hopes that the faculty will reconsider my application.
Since my first year at SFU, I had difficulty trying to achieve a satisfactory grade in the two lower division English courses required because English is my second language. I also had great difficulty with Economics 103 because of its abstract concepts. As a result, I have taken five English courses to try and achieve a satisfactory grade in order to meet the admission requirements at Beedie. Last semester I decided to take one final English class in order to boost up my admission GPA and received a grade of B+. Because I have exhausted all my repeats for the other lower division courses, I have no choice but to take English courses in order to boost up my admission GPA. ECON103 is the main bottleneck in my admission average but despite my poor grade in the class I challenged myself and took BUS201 which is a course that applies the concepts learned in ECON103 extensively as well as introducing other microeconomic concepts. At first, I was not very confident in my ability to do well in BUS201 to prove to the Beedie admission committee that my grade in ECON103 was to the best of my ability. I overcame my negative mindset and worked hard and diligently in order to achieve an above average grade in the class. In the end, my hard work did pay off somewhat because my overall percentage grade way above the class average but since the whole class did poorly, the instructor only scaled the extreme ends of the grade spectrum and I ended up with a B-. Looking at the following breakdown of the grades, I felt that my efforts in the class were not fairly reflected in my overall letter grade:
BUS207
· Average Grade 55.4
· My Grade 69
· Maximum Grade 79.1
"Typically in this course, As start at 85, A- at 80, B+ at75, B at 70, B- at 65,C+ at 60, C at 55, C- at 50, D at 45 and F below. I adjusted somewhat because we would have had no As at all using this scale. The ranges are in WebCt.
Regards,
Mark"
Technical details aside, I hope that the admission committee recognizes that my grade in Econ103 does not truly reflect my understanding in the subject of economics which is causing my admission GPA to fall.
Despite English being my second language, after completing four English courses prior to my fifth English course, I had high hopes of earning an A in the class due to the practice from the previous English courses. My goal may be ambitious, but anything short of an A would mean my admission GPA would not meet the cut off. As the spring 2013 semester progressed, my confidence grew as I received the grades for my individual essay assignments. In the last month of the spring semester, April, something unexpected occurred. During a weekly Thursday family dinner, my aunt had broken out the news that my uncle from New York was diagnosed with pancreas cancer and had only a week to live. I thought to myself this is probably the worst thing that could happen to me especially during final exam period. Sadly, my uncle passed away three days later and my family made arrangements to fly to New York for the funeral. I contemplated about attending the funeral but I told my family members that I had final exams to write and in my mind I was so close to finally doing well in an English and economics course and being admitted into the Beedie faculty of business. My family members understood my situation and left for New York without me. I cannot entirely blame this unfortunate family event as a reason for not doing as well as I could have in my spring semester courses but it certainly had an effect on my studies during the final exams.
Besides being a full time student, I have been working part time at IKEA for the past year in order to earn pocket money to pay for some of my living expenses and possibly a student loan in the near future. I usually work 16-20 hours spread throughout Friday, Saturday, and Sunday in order to fit in my classes on the weekdays. I have carried out other part time jobs in the past while attending SFU and even worked full time as an accounting intern during summer of 2011. Time management rarely comes naturally for undergraduate students like me and seeing some of my grades suffer in the past due to my poor work and school balance made me a more efficient person today. I am currently entering my fourth year at SFU and starting another major would be disastrous for me because I have taken many electives in other faculties and none has captured my interest. This summer semester, I am currently taking two electives to meet my B-SCI requirements for graduation as well as an upper division business class (BUS303) so I do not fall too far behind in my courses if admitted into the faculty. I hope that the Beedie admission committee recognizes my desire to be admitted into the faculty and give me the opportunity to complete my education in a faculty that captures my interests and passions.
Yours Truly,
xxxxx
I'm writing this letter in hopes that the faculty will reconsider my application.
.... I guess it is better you add some reasoning as to why they should consider you this time. For example;
However, my strong desire for studying business compels me for writing this letter of appeal in hope that the faculty will reconsider my application.If you have a better reason, you can include that here.
At first, I was not very confident in my ability to do well in BUS201 to prove to the Beedie admission committee that my grade in ECON103 was to the best of my ability. I overcame my negative mindset and worked hard and diligently in order to achieve an above average grade in the class.
.... Try to give more focus on to the positive part and reduce the effect of your negativity. So, I suggest you to bring the second line before the first one and give more emphasis to that fact while very briefly mentioning your negative mindset. You need to rephrase this if you are going to do that.
