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What I believe defines a great leader;Common app essay



Izzy25 1 / 3  
Oct 27, 2013   #1
Common app:
"You don't become great by trying to be great. You become great by wanting to do something, and then doing it so hard that you become great in the process."

- Randall Munroe '06, webcomic and xkcd founder.
In your opinion, what qualities define a great leader? (200-500 words)

So here my take on what I believe defines a great leader. Does it make sense? Does it sound good?
My response:

In every living species that dwells on planet earth, there is an individual that becomes the forefront of the masses: he is the leader. In a wolf pack, the best hunter would decide the strategy used to catch the next meal for his group. Then when the night would come, he would howl to direct his pack home until dawn arises. An excellent leader, such as a wolf, can be emulated by anyone who has the attributes of fearlessness, motivation, and communication. These are the factors I believe define a great leader.

Being fearless is to be a risk taker; someone who finds the possible in the impossible and proves all oppositions wrong. Like a hunter, he will tirelessly work toward his goal, and will never accept failure. He will bring down the biggest animal and challenge the highest obstacles. Today, a man like Bill Gates is a fearless hunter. For him, failure is not an option. He did everything in his power to create Microsoft, the computer software that is now used all over the world. He is a trendsetter and defines our world through technology. Without the fearlessness of him and other great entrepreneurs, the world as we know it would not be the same.

Motivation goes hand in hand with fearlessness. A great leader never lets anything stand in the way of success. Martin Luther King Jr. is the definition of motivation. He steps up to defend the "colored" race and attempts to put an end to societal segregation. Just like a wolf pursuing its prey, MLK battles to destroy the

idea of white supremacy. Despite all his efforts, he dies and never lives to see the results of what he started. However, what truly makes him a great leader is that he fought, to his death, for what he believed in. MLK's motivation and determination for change massively influenced the entire world.

Being an exceptional communicator is the last golden key to becoming a great leader. Although fearlessness and motivation are significant, leadership thrives on outstanding communication skills. A strong communicator can envision ideas that speak to his followers' emotions, aspirations, and goals. Martin Luther King Jr. uses his profound communication techniques to inspire his audience to act on their desires and goals. After the death of MLK, his followers were so motivated that

they were able to continue what he began. MLK was an individual that utilized his voice to create a fair nation and end segregation. He also, was a trendsetter who will be forever remembered in American history.

There is no individual that has the innate characteristics of a leader. Like Randall
Monroe said, "...You become great by wanting to do something, and then doing it so hard that you become great in the process." Both MLK and Gates wanted to do something, and struggled to achieve it. Through restless struggle for achievement, they developed the characteristics of fearlessness, motivation, and communication. They developed the qualities that truly define a great leader.

midge 1 / 8  
Oct 27, 2013   #2
I wouldn't reuse their quote in the Essay; It makes it sound a tad bit cookie-cutter. Perhaps respond to their quote with a similar Quote (that is mainly stylistic- totally subjective/preference.) I would personally cut the last sentence of the first paragraph, as it makes the exact same point as the sentence before. May want to work a bit on the tense uniformity, but otherwise, a strong, well organized essay. Good Luck.
OP Izzy25 1 / 3  
Oct 28, 2013   #3
thanks for the reply. Atleast some one acknowledged my essay lol
asianizer 2 / 3  
Oct 28, 2013   #4
Without the fearlessness of him

Passive voice doesn't sound so strong here. It would be better to use "Without his fearlessness as well as that of other great entrepeneurs..."

societal segregation

I would use social segregation, but that's just a personal preference.

Other than that, I think you hit on the qualities of a leader quite nicely. I wish you luck in your ventures!
OP Izzy25 1 / 3  
Oct 28, 2013   #5
Thank you for your input!
dumi 1 / 6795  
Nov 15, 2013   #6
An excellent leader, such as a wolf, can be emulated by anyone who has the attributes of fearlessness, motivation, and communication. These are the factors I believe define a great leader.

Let's have a look at the prompt now;

"You don't become great by trying to be great. You become greatby wanting to do something, and then doing it so hard that you become great in the process."
- Randall Munroe '06, webcomic and xkcd founder.
In your opinion, what qualities define a great leader? (200-500 words)

The part of " by wanting to do something" speaks about the passion that such person would possess. So, I guess it is important to highlight that aspect in the leadership qualities because then your response would be much more aligned with what your prompt suggests. If you cannot have the Wolf example molded into this attribute, then go for another example.


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