Hi~
Can you check my essay? I'd like to hear lots of criticism.
_____________________________________________
I waved at the car slowly escaping, watching it moving further and further. Inside the car sit my best friend, Charles. He was selected for an exchange program in America. He could not be around in my senior year, perhaps the most important year in my entire life. If you've ever swim in the sea and lost your swim ring by accident, you would know how I felt at that moment.
Charles was the most excellent student in our class. He did well in exams. He was a good violinist. He played several sports. He devoted most of his free time to community service and student government. For a long time, I felt embarrassed for our friendship. He is like the glare of the sun, keeping me from looking up.
At the end of the week, we had an extra period, in which two students gave a lecture on a specific topic to the whole class. Charles and I were going to talk about "future." Buried in my books, I hardly had time to prepare for the lecture with him. When I finally finished all my "burning issues" at Thursday night, I asked him if I could help. He gave me the draft he made several days ago. The next day, he was confident as usual, but I literally read the lines he wrote, which still dwell in my memory. "Forrest Gump's Mom once told little Forrest, 'Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you are going to get.' But our future will never be uncertain because I believe we are a little smarter than Forrest. We can choose the chocolate we like. Work hard and be fully prepared, and the future will be in control. Chances only favor prepared minds!"
That lecture turned out to be really successful. It means more than a great success to me. Charles and I became really close friends after the lecture. We gave three other lectures in the following two years. He helped me learn how to make preparations for the lectures and how to write a report afterwards on the lectures. I found I was just muddling along all these years. I could have done much more, just like Charles. We studied together, played violin together and did community service together. I always tried to be fully prepared. I overcame my nervousness before the lecture by preparing the materials in details. I achieved academic success by preparing carefully for the exams. I worked hard at everything I did, trying to be prepared. I want to decide my own life.
I was at a complete loss when he left. I did prepare, however, for his leaving. I adjust myself to the life without him quickly. After two growing years, I know exactly what I want do and what I am doing. I expect to meet Charles again, and show him how well I did all by myself.
Can you check my essay? I'd like to hear lots of criticism.
_____________________________________________
I waved at the car slowly escaping, watching it moving further and further. Inside the car sit my best friend, Charles. He was selected for an exchange program in America. He could not be around in my senior year, perhaps the most important year in my entire life. If you've ever swim in the sea and lost your swim ring by accident, you would know how I felt at that moment.
Charles was the most excellent student in our class. He did well in exams. He was a good violinist. He played several sports. He devoted most of his free time to community service and student government. For a long time, I felt embarrassed for our friendship. He is like the glare of the sun, keeping me from looking up.
At the end of the week, we had an extra period, in which two students gave a lecture on a specific topic to the whole class. Charles and I were going to talk about "future." Buried in my books, I hardly had time to prepare for the lecture with him. When I finally finished all my "burning issues" at Thursday night, I asked him if I could help. He gave me the draft he made several days ago. The next day, he was confident as usual, but I literally read the lines he wrote, which still dwell in my memory. "Forrest Gump's Mom once told little Forrest, 'Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you are going to get.' But our future will never be uncertain because I believe we are a little smarter than Forrest. We can choose the chocolate we like. Work hard and be fully prepared, and the future will be in control. Chances only favor prepared minds!"
That lecture turned out to be really successful. It means more than a great success to me. Charles and I became really close friends after the lecture. We gave three other lectures in the following two years. He helped me learn how to make preparations for the lectures and how to write a report afterwards on the lectures. I found I was just muddling along all these years. I could have done much more, just like Charles. We studied together, played violin together and did community service together. I always tried to be fully prepared. I overcame my nervousness before the lecture by preparing the materials in details. I achieved academic success by preparing carefully for the exams. I worked hard at everything I did, trying to be prepared. I want to decide my own life.
I was at a complete loss when he left. I did prepare, however, for his leaving. I adjust myself to the life without him quickly. After two growing years, I know exactly what I want do and what I am doing. I expect to meet Charles again, and show him how well I did all by myself.