I would appreciate any and all feedback on either of my essays.
The University of Colorado Boulder's Flagship 2030 strategic plan promotes exceptional teaching,
research, scholarship, creative works, and service distinguishing us as a premier university. We strive to
foster a diverse and inclusive community for all that engages each member in opportunities for academic
excellence, leadership, and a deeper understanding of the world in which we live.
Given the statement above, how do you think you could enrich our diverse and inclusive community, and
what are your hopes for your college experience?
It isn't easy choosing a university that I'm going to spend the next few years studying at. University is the beginning of my independent life, and as such needs to be more than just a school. In my opinion, a university should be a place where I can challenge myself educationally, where I can debate opposing views, and where I enjoy myself among the other students at the university. A diverse and knowledgeable student body is attractive to many students like myself as I am very interested in the views and perspectives of others and how they compare with my own. Meeting other students who can share their knowledge of other cultures is truly something that I look forward to in college.
I believe diversity goes beyond skin color, that diversity of the mind is more important than diversity of body. I have been an Indian my entire life, and that isn't going to change, but I believe that it's only a fraction of who I am. If someone were to look into my life they would see that both of my parents were born in Kenya, both my brother and myself were born in England, and that we live in Colorado, all elements that characterize my rich cultural background. My day-to-day life is influenced by these cultures, and if someone were to walk into my living room, the first thing that would catch their eye would be the wall of African souvenirs, from seashell frames to hand carved wooden statues of the indigenous Masai. I have relatives all over the world, including England, India, and Kenya, and I have been fortunate to visit all these places, tasted their food, and speak their language, and all of these places have come home with me. My dinners include traditional east African dishes and Indian curries, and, with my parents, I speak Gujarati, a language from western India.
The knowledge, respect, and awareness of these cultures, are what I believe to be true diversity, and are what I believe I will bring to The University of Colorado Boulder. I think it is fascinating how people can be physically alike in almost every way, but have completely different views, eat different food, and speak different languages, all due to their culture. People are truly unique, and I want to learn more about their experiences, something I believe I can do at CU. I also enjoy sharing my own knowledge and sharing the ideas of other cultures. By collaborating with other students, I believe I can contribute to the diversity and inclusive community that makes up CU.
Please start a separate thread on the other topic.
In my opinion, a university should be a place where I can challenge myself educationally, where I can debate opposing views, and where I enjoy myself among the other students at the university.
In my opinion, a university should be a place where I can challenge myself educationally, where I can debate opposing views, and where I enjoy myself with fellow students.A diverse and knowledgeable student body is attractive to many students like myself as I am very interested in the views and perspectives of others and how they compare with my own.
... take the focus on to you;
I want to be a part of diverse and knowledgeable student body because I am very interested in learning different views and perspectives of others and contrast them against my own.