This is for common app. THIS IS NOT THE TITLE BY THE WAY.
Prompt: Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
I walked down the hall of the science building, anticipating what would await me when I reached the last room in the row of classes: E5. Schedule in hand, I cautiously entered the laboratory, trying not to scuff up my new shoes. "Zhou, J." it said next to the fifth period spot, "AP Chemistry." My friends and I settled in to the front corner of the classroom, when a willowy, glasses-clad Chinese woman emerged from the back room of the lab. "Hallo! I am Mrs. Zhou. I know my accent is hard to understand, but you will get used to it!" It is her signature disclaimer that she bellows out on the first day of school, completely self-assured it is not a hindrance. From the outset, she exuded strangeness and genuine kindness at the same time. Everybody loves her, and I could not help but smile at her subtle confidence. "This is going to be fun," I thought.
It was. Except for the chemistry part; it was the most challenging class I have ever taken. As difficult as mole to gram conversions and galvanic cells were to understand, Mrs. Zhou, or "Big Zhou" as she is affectionately known, never wavered in her dedication to and compassion for her students. At times, the strain of chemistry caused me to doubt myself. But if my test scores started slipping or I showed even the slightest signs of giving up, she was the first one to put me in check, always making sure to remind me of the extent of my potential. "Karissa, you so smart but TALKS TOO MUCH" she liked to tell me, even if my eyes diverted from the PowerPoint presentation for even a second or two.
I soon learned of Mrs. Zhou's journey to the chemistry lab in E5, and, subsequently, my life. She was born and raised in China and attended the University of Beijing before moving to Ohio for medical school. She worked as a medical researcher for several years before becoming a teacher. It struck me as quite the downgrade. "Big Zhou, why would you come to West Covina High School, of all places, when you could be making so much money?" I asked her once. "I like you guys!" she retorted, her toothy grin in all its glory. "And I love teaching, it's my passion."
She never said much else about her tenure in the medical field. Even so, her white, starchy lab coat with "Dr. Zhou, Infectious Diseases" embroidered in bright blue thread on the front pocket hangs in the back of the lab, like a ghost. It is a constant reminder of her past, and how it brought her into the lives of so many people. Sometimes, I would mess around and wear it, pretending I was like her. I can only hope that in the future, I am.
Aside from grammatical tips or other suggestions, please say something about what the "point" i was trying to make was. Also, does the last sentence imply I am interested in medicine at all?? It wasn't supposed to haha. THANKS!
Prompt: Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
I walked down the hall of the science building, anticipating what would await me when I reached the last room in the row of classes: E5. Schedule in hand, I cautiously entered the laboratory, trying not to scuff up my new shoes. "Zhou, J." it said next to the fifth period spot, "AP Chemistry." My friends and I settled in to the front corner of the classroom, when a willowy, glasses-clad Chinese woman emerged from the back room of the lab. "Hallo! I am Mrs. Zhou. I know my accent is hard to understand, but you will get used to it!" It is her signature disclaimer that she bellows out on the first day of school, completely self-assured it is not a hindrance. From the outset, she exuded strangeness and genuine kindness at the same time. Everybody loves her, and I could not help but smile at her subtle confidence. "This is going to be fun," I thought.
It was. Except for the chemistry part; it was the most challenging class I have ever taken. As difficult as mole to gram conversions and galvanic cells were to understand, Mrs. Zhou, or "Big Zhou" as she is affectionately known, never wavered in her dedication to and compassion for her students. At times, the strain of chemistry caused me to doubt myself. But if my test scores started slipping or I showed even the slightest signs of giving up, she was the first one to put me in check, always making sure to remind me of the extent of my potential. "Karissa, you so smart but TALKS TOO MUCH" she liked to tell me, even if my eyes diverted from the PowerPoint presentation for even a second or two.
I soon learned of Mrs. Zhou's journey to the chemistry lab in E5, and, subsequently, my life. She was born and raised in China and attended the University of Beijing before moving to Ohio for medical school. She worked as a medical researcher for several years before becoming a teacher. It struck me as quite the downgrade. "Big Zhou, why would you come to West Covina High School, of all places, when you could be making so much money?" I asked her once. "I like you guys!" she retorted, her toothy grin in all its glory. "And I love teaching, it's my passion."
She never said much else about her tenure in the medical field. Even so, her white, starchy lab coat with "Dr. Zhou, Infectious Diseases" embroidered in bright blue thread on the front pocket hangs in the back of the lab, like a ghost. It is a constant reminder of her past, and how it brought her into the lives of so many people. Sometimes, I would mess around and wear it, pretending I was like her. I can only hope that in the future, I am.
Aside from grammatical tips or other suggestions, please say something about what the "point" i was trying to make was. Also, does the last sentence imply I am interested in medicine at all?? It wasn't supposed to haha. THANKS!
