'biological sciences as a major' - Georgetown - Second impressions are everything

topic: Please relate your interest in studying at Georgetown University to your goals. How do these thoughts relate to your chosen course of study? (If you are applying to major in the FLL or in a Science, please specifically address those interests.)

FALSE: first impressions are everything. TRUE: Second impressions are everything and more! Ever since I'd visited Georgetown for the second time, I feel like it has been pulling me by the second.

Unlike some other schools I'm applying to, Georgetown offers biological sciences as a major; which broadens the opportunity to concentrate on a variety of things. Noticing Georgetown for its high reputation, as well as having an interest in becoming a neurologist, I'd decided to concentrate on neurobiology. Competitive to Georgetown is Johns Hopkins who is number three for the top neurology schools, whereas Georgetown is number 33. My mother being the social butterfly that she is has connections to Georgetown University's Hospital; therefore, networking my way to a residential position at the hospital wouldn't be as much of a challenge.

Despite the fact that my friend Lisa considers Georgetown as "Harry Potter University", I still love it. With its old world architecture and urbanization, Georgetown makes me feel like I'm walking strait into Hogwarts to start an eager journey. Besides, going to Georgetown for the second time confirmed my feelings of being comfortable; and that's the only requirement I'd ever asked for when looking for a school that fits me perfectly.

okay, this is my draft for the georgetown essay. overall, do you think that i answered the question completely? is there anything irrelevant? i would really appreciate the feedback. thanks!!!!

Ever since I'd visited Georgetown for the second time, I feel like it has been pulling me by the minute .---I changed this word, because it was a bit confusing having the word 'second' in the sentence twice and with 2 different meanings. :)

Unlike some other schools I'm applying to, Georgetown offers biological sciences as a major; which broadens the opportunity to concentrate on a variety of things.---This is way too vague.

Leaning towards Georgetown for its great reputation, as well as having an interest in becoming a neurologist, I've decided to concentrate on neurobiology.

Competitive to Georgetown is Johns Hopkins who is number three for the top neurology schools, whereas Georgetown is number 33.---This sounds bad, as you're putting down the school and implying you'll settle for it.

My mother being the social butterfly that she is has connections to Georgetown University's Hospital; therefore, networking my way to a residential position at the hospital wouldn't be as much of a challenge. ---This makes you sound a little pretentious and possibly not very motivated to study.

I think that as you mentioned twice that you went there for the second time, you should tell under what circumstances you were there the first time. Were you a student?

:)

Thank you so much! I will work on the changes immediately and hopefully get a second opinion :)