Hello everyone, this is a revision of my previously posted essay for the common app. Reviews left would be highly appreciated,thanks.
Ever since I was young, I have watched my mother portray determination and interdependence, from living and raising her daughters in a polygamous home where there was no hint of love to traveling to a foreign country to set her roots. Though she was faced with odds from home, she did not let the odds become a hindrance to her ambition. Coming through these challenges in an unfamiliar country has been one of her most influential motivational factors on me. One of her innate qualities that never cease to amaze me is her determination that reflects in all her decisions.
My decision of studying abroad almost seemed like an impossible goal, even though I knew from the onset that it is what I really wanted. I was dealt with a big blow that almost crushed me , the very first time I ever let myself believe that I could depend on someone I called my father. It was too late before I realized that my father has not been in support of my career choice and my choice of studying abroad. It was only then that I learned the importance of determination and interdependence that my mother has always portrayed.
My mother was the only one who was there for me emotionally all through the way when I shot the whole world out, the only one who saw through that dark heart, a girl who has been badly betrayed by someone she taught cared about her. She was the one who was there all through the way when I was fighting my inner demon and who saw to it that I pulled myself through. I remember her saying, "Rebecca all I have tried to teach you and your siblings is that you can succeed with or without anyone's help. Maybe what you are going through is destined to be, so you could see the importance of the independence I have always portrayed. I know you can get through this, I have seen you get through situations tougher than this. Now all I am asking you to do is take that year that you will be losing as a gap year, to figure out what you really want. So, the choice is all yours; you are either going to let that betrayal bring you down or going to let it strengthen you. But whichever decision you make during that gap year, you will have my full support".
As a result, I was not surprised when she gave her whole support in every way possible, when I showed the determination to go to college in a culturally diverse country.
Gazing at the mirror, I see a girl who is reaching out for her goals and whose mother will always be ready to guide her through whenever it seems right. A girl who knows that the world is hers for the taking -thanks to her mother's support and dictum: 'determination is the key'.