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"born in China 16 years ago" - MIT world you come from essay



lakerkobe 1 / 3  
Dec 24, 2009   #1
Well ya, any comments/criticisms/feedback will be well appreciated.
Did I answer the prompt? How is the overall impression? etc.

Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs,school,community,city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?(*) (200-250 words)

In the face of change and turmoil, familiarity beckons like the grain-o-plenty during famine. During my childhood, my mom served as my familiarity. I am very independent now, but I can never forget the biggest influence on my dreams and aspirations during my childhood: MaMa.

I was born in China 16 years ago. When I was five, my family, in hopes of a brighter future for me, immigrated to the United States, a foreign land made only more foreign by our lack of connections or stability. My dad's divorce from the family soon afterwards only heightened this unfamiliarity, at the same time increasing my dependence on MaMa. Despite the shift in country, MaMa retained her stringent adherence to raise me according to Chinese ideals, which place academic success paramount. MaMa preferred a day at the Griffith Observatory instead of Disneyland due to the greater learning potential. MaMa also sternly advised against video games, but showed tremendous zeal when I expressed curiosity regarding academics, especially math and science, her strong suits. Through the change in setting, math was the one area that remained absolute, unaffected by language differences. MaMa augmented my interest by creating problems for me to solve everyday, which she checked nightly. Soon, I began authoring and solving my own problems. My curiosity rapidly expanded to the application of mathematics, thus relating my interest to science.

After MaMa's initial instillation, I have since maintained an everlasting fascination with math and science, whose permanence through change helped me embrace American culture. My comfort with these disciplines coupled with my unwavering enthusiasm in learning about the intricacies of science make me eager to explore the frontiers of science and engineer technologies that could better our world. It is with this perpetual purpose that I pursue my interests, hoping to utilize my talents - in math, science, and beyond - to assist in the advancement of our technology, our society, and our planet.

Thanks a bunch!

OP lakerkobe 1 / 3  
Dec 24, 2009   #2
oh, and I deleted the final sentence.. since I'm already over the word limit, and it doesnt add anything significant.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Dec 27, 2009   #3
In the face of change and turmoil, familiarity beckons like the grain-o-plenty during famine. (Right here, explain what you mean by "familiarity." You are using it as a word that refers to an emotion that you feel around someone who is familiar.) During my childhood, my mom served as my familiarity. I am very independent now, but I can never forget the biggest influence on my dreams and aspirations during my childhood: Mamma . ----> do you like this spelling? Maybe it is better, maybe not.

I was born in China 16 years ago. When I was five, my family in hopes of a brighter future for me immigrated to the United States, a foreign land that was made to only seem more foreign by our lack of connections or stability.

:-)


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