Boston University passion for drawing essay- Is it clear and focused enough?

Drawing, something I have been doing since before I can even remember. From drawing sprawling battles between
fictional nations across the confined margins of my seventh grade math homework to overdoing sketches of plant cells on my
tenth grade bio-labs. Throughout my years at school I often found myself sitting in class doodling all over my notebook
instead of actually taking notes during the lectures, which of course had gotten me in trouble quite a few times but not all
the time.

Most notably during my sophomore year geometry class where I would turn triangles into Egyptian pyramids surrounded by an
unforgiving harsh desert rather then calculate the degrees of each angle. Of course my teacher was not too fond of my
"calculations" judging by the grade at the top of my paper. Or during my junior year history class where my idea of taking

notes on Nagasaki consisted of a drawing a B-29 bomber flying towards the Japanese sun narrowly escaping the mushroom cloud's
grip. Sadly this illustration did not help me when trying to remember the date and time of the attack during my open notebook
quiz. And still events like these could not deter insatiable urge to draw.

Eventually that urge led me to the one class that I could draw without negative consequences; Graphic Design. After reading
the description of it in the course selection booklet junior year I knew I had to take it, and that I did. I skipped intro

and went straight to Graphics one, and felt right at home. Now I could apply my creativity without reprimand. It felt great to
actually take a class where my assignments were graded on visual creativity and effort which was something I had excelled at.
Now when I hear the word sun in class, instead of having to write a two page paper on solar energy and its benefits to

society I can draw a red orb engulfed in flames with fire jutting out licking the outer regions of the universe and be given
a good grade. My only regret is finding this class so late in my high school experience.

High school isn't the end of my learning nor has is satisfied my urge to draw, its a launching pad to new opportunities and

experiences. And now as my high school life comes to a close it is time I move on to college and turn my passion into a full

fledged career.

also when i submit my essay through common app Should it have a title?

good essay your first paragraph gets a little confusing though work on some transitions and it will be great!

Any other feedback?

This is not a full sentence since it lacks a verb. I like the content :)


Be specific! How do you plan on pursuing your passion for art at BU?


I'm not trying to be mean, but I don't think this sentence is a good impression for whoever will be reading your essay.


This is also a fragment, not a sentence.
Your second paragraph needs a topic sentence that ties up the examples you provided in that paragraph.


This paragraph sounds cliche. Make it more "you" by providing examples of how will you continue your passion for art.

It's a good start. Expand more about your interest in graphic design and your conclusion =)

sorry if I sound harsh in the comments.

I'm also applying to BU. Good luck to both of us!

Isn't drawing a verb therefore my second sentence would be complete? if not what could I add to make it complete. i fixed the first two paragraphs a bit.

"Drawing, something I have been doing since before I can even remember. From drawing sprawling battles between
fictional nations across the confined margins of my seventh grade math homework to overdoing sketches of plant cells on my
tenth grade bio-labs. Throughout my years at school I often found myself sitting in class doodling all over my notebook and in between my class notes.

Sometimes my notebook doodles would get me in a bit of trouble. I recall one time during my sophomore year geometry class where I would turn triangles into Egyptian pyramids surrounded by an unforgiving harsh desert rather then calculate the degrees of each angle. Of course my teacher was not too fond of my "calculations" judging by the grade at the top of my paper. Or during my junior year history class where my idea of taking notes on Nagasaki consisted of a drawing a B-29 bomber flying towards the Japanese sun narrowly escaping the mushroom cloud's grip. Sadly this illustration did not help me when trying to remember the date and time of the attack during my open notebook quiz. And still events like these could not deter insatiable urge to draw. "

i agree with my conclusion being Cliche but after sitting here for awhile I can't think of how to make it sound better..

He is right you need to change it. Like "from drawing mountains." Would not be a correct sentence either. You could change to something like "I drew... and sketched..."

Your second paragraph is...bad. Good stuff in there but needs a topic sentence. Maybe something like, "I began to draw in high school, even when I was not in an art class, and my passion for art began to grow with my ability." Or something like that but better haha. And then shorten the example themselves and tie it into how your passion and ability grew. But something along these lines would be really useful in here.

would this make gramatical sense to combine both sentences using a semicolon

Drawing, something I have been doing since before I can even remember; from drawing sprawling battles between
fictional nations across the confined margins of my seventh grade math homework to overdoing sketches of plant cells on my
tenth grade bio-labs. Throughout my years at school I often found myself sitting in class doodling all over my notebook and in between my class notes.