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Why I want to go To boston University undergraduate supplemental essay by Keyla rosa



KeylaRosa 1 / -  
Nov 29, 2012   #1
Prompt: This section of the application gives you an opportunity to present yourself in a way that grades and test scores cannot. The Board of Admissions uses your essay to determine your ability to organize thoughts and express yourself clearly. Accordingly, we ask that you prepare this work entirely on your own.

Every year, my mother and I travel somewhere over spring break. We usually journey to an exotic island or a beach paradise somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. Sophomore year spring break differed from no other year. My mother and I traveled to Jamaica enjoyed the sun and boarded our plane to return home. During our layover in Boston, our flight back to Milwaukee was over booked and another flight would not leave until the next evening. My mother booked a hotel and called a taxi to drive us into the city where our hotel awaited. As the taxi drove into the heart of Boston, I was captivated by the charm of the city as well as the various historical references. As a social studies fanatic, the old buildings fascinated me. The accents of the various people I met throughout the city enhance my enthrallment with the city. I begged my mother to allow me to tour the colleges in the area in the morning before our plane departed. Boston University was by far my favorite school we visited, the lax yet rigorous environment. Although my GPA may not be to the standards of Boston University, I believe that I will be able to reach my full potential if I attend such a prestigious university. Rather than ignoring my schoolwork as I did my first three years in high school, if accepted, I will take advantage of the great academics and utilize them to help advance my career goals.

bhos 1 / 7  
Nov 29, 2012   #2
Although my GPA may not be to the standards of Boston University, I believe that I will be able to reach my full potential if I attend such a prestigious university. Rather than ignoring my schoolwork as I did my first three years in high school, if accepted, I will take advantage of the great academics and utilize them to help advance my career goals.

It is recommended that you do not provide reason for colleges to doubt you. If you don't have confidence in yourself why should they? If you wish to bring up your 'faults' (which you don't have to, because they can see that on your transcript) you should only do so if you provide valid reasons or circumstances explaining them, rather than coming off as lazy by using an excuse.

The rest of your essay was sound, I would jus highly recommend taking or revising that part.
Phoebe Africa 3 / 36  
Nov 30, 2012   #3
You also sound a lot like someone who has yet to make use of all that has been afforded to you. There are applicants who have already seized every opportunity that's come they way, and you seem like a lazy kid from a financially well ut family. Try and avoid this(it is perfectly fine for a young teen to be a little relaxed at school, but it doesn't make you a competitive candidate)

To that end, can't you give your conclusion a far much more interesting touch. You are after all this well traveled global citizen, so there must be some way of lightning up your last words.

Great essay though, I liked it!


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