Bowdoin essay - Intellectual engagement in Vietnam and the US

Bowdoin students and alumni often cite world-class faculty and opportunities for intellectual engagement, the College's commitment to the Common Good, and the special quality of life on the coast of Maine as important aspects of the Bowdoin experience. Reflecting on your own interests and experiences, please comment on one of the following:

1. Intellectual engagement
2. The Common Good
3. Connection to place

I choose to write about Intellectual engagement

If I have to define intellectual engagement, I would say that it is the way that a student learn and gather knowledge. I believe that learning style is intellectual engagement. As an international student coming to America from Vietnam, I had had the opportunity to observe the difference in learning style between American and Vietnamese students. In Vietnam, I went to Le Hong Phong High School for the Gifted, one of the best high schools of the nation. I would assume that the majority of students at my school have high intellectual ability. However, the students usually depend largely on teachers to learn. Very few can learn independently.

In contrast, students in America actively engage in their learning. They are not afraid to question or discuss a problem with their teachers. On the other hand, the teachers always make sure that every student is participating in class.

Furthermore, I have noticed that students in America do not compete with each other for grades. I think that this is very good, since students should be intrinsically motivated to learn rather than be motivated by grades. For example, in America, only parents have the access to the grades of their students. While in Vietnam, at the end of each semester, the teacher would read out loud the GPA of all the students in a class. I myself dislike this method, as it always sparks the competition between students in a same class.

How would you guys think of my essay?

"If I have to define intellectual engagement, I would say that it is the way that a student learn and gather knowledge. I believe that learning style is intellectual engagement . As an international student coming to America from Vietnam, I had had the opportunity to observe the difference in learning style between American and Vietnamese students. In Vietnam, I went to Le Hong Phong High School for the Gifted, one of the best high schools of the nation. I would assume that the majority of students at my school have high intellectual ability. However, the students usually depend largely on teachers to learn. Very few can learn independently."

*learns
*gathers
The second line is a bit confusing, I'm not sure what you mean.
*have

The prompt itself seems a little vague to me, but it seems like you are writing about something that fits it! Some sentences could be checked for grammar, but otherwise, it's good! I like the story.

Thank you very much. I do not know what exactly "intellectual engagement" is, and I think that this is quite an open question as each person will have his or her own way to define it. Thus I choose to write out what first come to my mind when I think of "intellectual engagement". I know that my perspective is quite strange (or weird), but I still hope that it fits.

So basically this sentence is the thesis my whole essay: "I believe that learning style is intellectual engagement." What do you think of that? Can you guys kinda see it?