Boy Scouts Extracurricular Short Ans - Common App

I really need help, I have to submit my common app tonight for reasons out of my control, so I really need this checked quick, i'll make sure to edit yours in return!

In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience) (150 words or fewer).

In the first grade I joined the Tiger Cubs at my elementary school, and began a life long journey that would shape me as a person. Since those early days, I've become a Life Scout in Boy Scout Troop 773, and am currently working on receiving my Eagle Scout Badge. I've served as Senior Patrol Leader, the highest position in the troop, where I led and planned campouts and meetings. As I earned merit badges, planned schedules, committed countless hours to community service, led both older and younger scouts, and worked on my advancements, became a stronger leader and role model, and I saw myself becoming more mature, responsible, and hardworking. Scouting has become much more than an activity to me, it's become a part of who I am.

I know you probably don't have a lot of time but it sounds just like a list and more generic. Maybe if you have time, you can go back and focus more on one topic.

But if you can't, I think that instead of putting "Scouting has become much more than an activity to me, it's become a part of who I am." maybe you can put something more meaningful?

less cliche? sorry i can't be of more help.

if you have time, please edit mine!
thanks.

Thanks guys I really appreciate since I have to submit it tonight (a day early). I'll make sure to get to your guys' posts as soon as I can, but here's my revised copy for now. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, and as always, critique for critique!