Bread freedom and social justice; Common app/ topic of your choice

Please write an essay (250-500 words) on a topic of your choice or on one of the options listed below. This personal essay helps us to become acquainted with you as a person and student, apart from courses, grades, test scores, and other objective data. It will also demonstrate your ability to organize your thoughts and express yourself.

Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.

Once upon a time , revolution happen in my country Egypt. A revolution that was yelling by bread freedom and social justice. It did not happen in ancient Egypt ,but in 21st century.May be bread freedom and social justice an ordinary rights in many countries but they were not ordinary in Egypt on 25th of January 2011 the collective mind of the encryption want to change the statues. they want to change their reality. They want hope cause there is no life without hope. As the Arabic quote said " if people one day want to live , fate have to answer." the revolution change Egypt completely. It change souls,minds,and manners of people . everyone feel that the country became his own . Everyone feel that he can effect on country's future after there was no future for the country. I feel i can effect on the country's future, and better education will make me effect more and more.

what do u think ? do u think it worth be my main essay ?if not what i can write about ?and thnx for helping

I think your concept is strong. However, I think you need to remove the first line "once upon a time," it sounds informal and childish.

You have a lot of grammatical errors but if you finish writing the entire thing, then it would be more helpful to edit your grammar.

Hi malaikaiyer, could you please help with mine? (titled 'The Perks of Being Tenecious')

mahmoudjendy - I think you need to use the words they give you and definitely make your essay longer. Don't just state things but relate them to you. Be personal so that the admissions officers get a sense of who you are. I find it easier to write these essays if I just write whatever is on my mind as if I was talking to another person. Then edit it so that it doesn't contain any grammar mistakes, add better vocabulary or change phrases so that they are easy to read.