The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
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Bangalore, India, late 2012, just after 11pm: "♪ Hello darkness, my old friend, ...", I thought, as I silently made my way to dad's study, guided only by the pale moonlight streaming in through the windows. As I connected my laptop to the router using an ethernet cable; all I could hear was the sound of my heart beating.
"Thou shall not use the internet after 10pm" was the diktat from my dad a week ago, and my wifi had been shutting down automatically every night. Attempts at discussing it, debating it or even negotiating a later curfew time had not worked. I was sure this had to do with many late night gaming sessions on LoL (League Of Legends) - something that I had gotten better with every week. I had just recently achieved the bragging rights to the coveted Gold status, but this last week of inactivity was already decayed that standing down a tier.
If technology was what Dad had used to block my access, then tech was also going to help me conquer that ... I had spent all of my free time last 4-5 days reading about how networking works - ip, dhcp, dns, ... and now is when I was going to put my new found knowledge to test. My plan was simple, but it turned out that this was just the first of 12 long and sometimes frustrating night sessions as I tried to find my way back to the LoL gaming servers.
Fremont, US, late 2014: "♫ I've come to talk with you again, ..." I sang in my head, as I furiously worked at hacking the latest config on the router that my dad had updated to.
In 2013, we had moved from India to the US. Starting school here in the sophomore year made breaking into social circles harder; but I soon realized that there were 3 times more LoL players here than in India, and my expertise at it garnered respect and gained friends. It fuelled my need to get even better at LoL. I was now playing with my school friends, and getting even better than before. I had trouble falling asleep because all that was going through my mind were a myriad amount of ways of getting to the next level.
As Dad would upgrade the router, or change its config, I would often lose network access, but then would get deeper into networking, learning about MAC address cloning, virtual networks, open-dns, dhcp, etc and always manage to find a way to get my connectivity going again. This was just one more of those late night sessions, and I knew I would eventually figure out a way through those myriad access rules and config. In fact, I prided myself on being able to break through, no matter what.
By my Junior year, I had achieved Platinum-2 status - highest amongst my peers. But one other thing stood out to me - my grades were not representing what I was capable of. Back in India, I could afford to just study before the final exams at the end of the year and still get good grades, but it was clear that here I needed to work steadfastly through the year to do well, focusing on every week, quizzes, tests - everything mattered.
I was nearly at the end of the first semester of my junior year and I had no time to waste if I wanted to improve my grades, and recognized that my addiction for LoL had to be tamed.
I tried to self-police myself from LoL by limiting it to a few hours over the weekend, but it was almost impossible to keep that going for more than a week or two. I uninstalled the game a few times, only to find myself re-installing it and playing again. I felt pathetic - the longest amount of time I spent without playing it was just over a week. However, I was determined to win this battle. It was hard, but after a several futile attempts, I decided to sell off my account, so that I would have nothing to go back to. Hard as it was, it was the best thing I ever did. $110 was what it was worth in the end, if you really must know. Good riddance, finally!
I have had more time since to focus on things that matter more to me. I am working harder at school than ever before, and enjoying the challenge. I do truly rue the missed years, and wish I had given up LoL sooner. I have enjoyed seeing my grades get better and continue to stay at it. I am playing the Guitar again, finding time to go to the gym and play soccer, cooking dinner over weekends for my family, even helping my dad with network troubleshooting, and just finding more time to do the things that I should have been doing all along. I cannot roll back time, but I will make the most of what I have left. I am not proud of my LoL phase, but take pride in being able to walk myself out of that dark dungeon!
LoL taught me a valuable life lesson that I will never forget - As you go through life, keep your goals front and center. Mine was never to be a gamer, but to be a software engineer. I lost sight of it during three valuable school years, but now see my goal even clearer than ever. And find myself making up for lost time at every chance I can get.
But there is one other thing that I absolutely want to do, just as soon as I can. That is to share my example with the many other teens who may be down with similar addictions. As a volunteer counsellor, I want them to be able to recognize that price they pay for this, not just academically but also socially, with family and friends. Having been there, I can talk to them in a language they will understand - and I will want them to know that it is possible to walk away from it, and focus back on things that matter in the long term. And that while difficult, it is truly rewarding to be able to win that battle.
Much like me, they also can be everything they were meant to be. And more.
---
Bangalore, India, late 2012, just after 11pm: "♪ Hello darkness, my old friend, ...", I thought, as I silently made my way to dad's study, guided only by the pale moonlight streaming in through the windows. As I connected my laptop to the router using an ethernet cable; all I could hear was the sound of my heart beating.
"Thou shall not use the internet after 10pm" was the diktat from my dad a week ago, and my wifi had been shutting down automatically every night. Attempts at discussing it, debating it or even negotiating a later curfew time had not worked. I was sure this had to do with many late night gaming sessions on LoL (League Of Legends) - something that I had gotten better with every week. I had just recently achieved the bragging rights to the coveted Gold status, but this last week of inactivity was already decayed that standing down a tier.
If technology was what Dad had used to block my access, then tech was also going to help me conquer that ... I had spent all of my free time last 4-5 days reading about how networking works - ip, dhcp, dns, ... and now is when I was going to put my new found knowledge to test. My plan was simple, but it turned out that this was just the first of 12 long and sometimes frustrating night sessions as I tried to find my way back to the LoL gaming servers.
Fremont, US, late 2014: "♫ I've come to talk with you again, ..." I sang in my head, as I furiously worked at hacking the latest config on the router that my dad had updated to.
In 2013, we had moved from India to the US. Starting school here in the sophomore year made breaking into social circles harder; but I soon realized that there were 3 times more LoL players here than in India, and my expertise at it garnered respect and gained friends. It fuelled my need to get even better at LoL. I was now playing with my school friends, and getting even better than before. I had trouble falling asleep because all that was going through my mind were a myriad amount of ways of getting to the next level.
As Dad would upgrade the router, or change its config, I would often lose network access, but then would get deeper into networking, learning about MAC address cloning, virtual networks, open-dns, dhcp, etc and always manage to find a way to get my connectivity going again. This was just one more of those late night sessions, and I knew I would eventually figure out a way through those myriad access rules and config. In fact, I prided myself on being able to break through, no matter what.
By my Junior year, I had achieved Platinum-2 status - highest amongst my peers. But one other thing stood out to me - my grades were not representing what I was capable of. Back in India, I could afford to just study before the final exams at the end of the year and still get good grades, but it was clear that here I needed to work steadfastly through the year to do well, focusing on every week, quizzes, tests - everything mattered.
I was nearly at the end of the first semester of my junior year and I had no time to waste if I wanted to improve my grades, and recognized that my addiction for LoL had to be tamed.
I tried to self-police myself from LoL by limiting it to a few hours over the weekend, but it was almost impossible to keep that going for more than a week or two. I uninstalled the game a few times, only to find myself re-installing it and playing again. I felt pathetic - the longest amount of time I spent without playing it was just over a week. However, I was determined to win this battle. It was hard, but after a several futile attempts, I decided to sell off my account, so that I would have nothing to go back to. Hard as it was, it was the best thing I ever did. $110 was what it was worth in the end, if you really must know. Good riddance, finally!
I have had more time since to focus on things that matter more to me. I am working harder at school than ever before, and enjoying the challenge. I do truly rue the missed years, and wish I had given up LoL sooner. I have enjoyed seeing my grades get better and continue to stay at it. I am playing the Guitar again, finding time to go to the gym and play soccer, cooking dinner over weekends for my family, even helping my dad with network troubleshooting, and just finding more time to do the things that I should have been doing all along. I cannot roll back time, but I will make the most of what I have left. I am not proud of my LoL phase, but take pride in being able to walk myself out of that dark dungeon!
LoL taught me a valuable life lesson that I will never forget - As you go through life, keep your goals front and center. Mine was never to be a gamer, but to be a software engineer. I lost sight of it during three valuable school years, but now see my goal even clearer than ever. And find myself making up for lost time at every chance I can get.
But there is one other thing that I absolutely want to do, just as soon as I can. That is to share my example with the many other teens who may be down with similar addictions. As a volunteer counsellor, I want them to be able to recognize that price they pay for this, not just academically but also socially, with family and friends. Having been there, I can talk to them in a language they will understand - and I will want them to know that it is possible to walk away from it, and focus back on things that matter in the long term. And that while difficult, it is truly rewarding to be able to win that battle.
Much like me, they also can be everything they were meant to be. And more.
