"The Building Blocks in Reaching my Goal"- UIUC Prompt

Essay #1: Explain your interest in the major you selected. You may describe a related experience you've had to that area of study and/or your future career goals. Please limit your response to approximately 300 words.

A hospital scene with countless amounts of sick children is not anything new to me since my younger brother was in and out of the hospital every month. Because my younger brother was prone to having a seizure at any given time at any given day, he needed someone looking after him at all times. When it was my time to watch after my brother, several concerns came to mind, yet when it came down to caring for my younger brother, all of my worries disappeared and the only thing that matter was helping my him on the road to a speedy recovery. I made sure he was hydrated, kept his fever down by keeping a cool, damp washcloth on his forehead, and made sure he had plenty of rest. Under my watch, my brother started to get better, which made me realize that caring for individuals at a young age is a career path that I must take on. Pediatrics has interested me for a long time now, and the more I see or hear about children, who are ill, the more I want to aid in the steps of helping them to get better.

The College of Applied Health Sciences (AHS) at the University of Illinois will help further my goals in Pediatrics. I am cognizant that the College of Applied Health Sciences, "focuses on improving the quality of life of all individuals and promoting the progression of healthy communities" assures me that I would be granted the greatest opportunity throughout my studies and in obtaining the undergraduate education that I need to accomplish my ultimate goal. Through the College of AHS, I know I will become a well-rounded and knowledgeable individual in the science department. The education the College of AHS provides will add to the buildings blocks in the journey to reach my goal.

i think when you describe your interest you in pediatric ,you can give a your brother's case as a example,but it is not persuasive enough,You should add some subjective or personal emotion.such as you can say when your brother was fighting with disease,you can do thing but prey for him. so at that time ,you made your mind that you would become a pediatric doctor to help other young people just like your brother who are tormented by the disease,and alleviate their suffering.

The hospital with painful screams of sick children is not a new scene to me because I was frequently in and out of it with my younger brother who was prone to having a seizure at any given moment at any given day or place. I had to take my turns of looking after him quite often.


... what were those concerns? If you mention that, then you need to tell the reader what they are.


I needed to ensure he was not dehydrated.