Please edit this and give me some comments. Is this too wordy? Are my ideas clear? Thanks
My childhood dream is to be a wealthy businesswoman. At the age of fourteen, I successfully published a newspaper sold within my school. Not only did I obtain sponsor from my prime teacher but I also managed to win investment from some of my friends. To become competitive, I interviewed a "hot-boy" in my class, and then displayed the testimonials from him on the first page. In fact, the business operated smoothly and brought me certain profit. Although the publication was stopped after just the 5th volume, "this project" became an unforgettable milestone in the nurture of my dream. Afterwards, at high school, I was elected to be the treasurer of the class in three years. I always tried to have money multiply rather than stay in pocket. Together with my class, I carried out small businesses. We sold almost everything: from snack during break time to soft drink after football matches; from greeting card on Christmas to roses on Valentine Day. Usually we made profits but sometimes we made losses; usually things operated smoothly but sometimes there were suspecting, quarrelling or even giving up. After all, I realize struggling through all difficulties has developed the entrepreneur in me. I indeed enjoy the pleasure when seeing my business fruits, I tirelessly learned to stand up if it fails, I now know how to maintain flexible while consistently sticking on my goals... Most importantly, I experience the pleased feelings when donating money I earned for charity. Obviously, successful business can not only enrich myself but also support other people. This perception finally raised my childhood dream to a strong ambition of establishing my own company and use the money it generates to help people out of misery.
My childhood dream is to be a wealthy businesswoman. At the age of fourteen, I successfully published a newspaper sold within my school. Not only did I obtain sponsor from my prime teacher but I also managed to win investment from some of my friends. To become competitive, I interviewed a "hot-boy" in my class, and then displayed the testimonials from him on the first page. In fact, the business operated smoothly and brought me certain profit. Although the publication was stopped after just the 5th volume, "this project" became an unforgettable milestone in the nurture of my dream. Afterwards, at high school, I was elected to be the treasurer of the class in three years. I always tried to have money multiply rather than stay in pocket. Together with my class, I carried out small businesses. We sold almost everything: from snack during break time to soft drink after football matches; from greeting card on Christmas to roses on Valentine Day. Usually we made profits but sometimes we made losses; usually things operated smoothly but sometimes there were suspecting, quarrelling or even giving up. After all, I realize struggling through all difficulties has developed the entrepreneur in me. I indeed enjoy the pleasure when seeing my business fruits, I tirelessly learned to stand up if it fails, I now know how to maintain flexible while consistently sticking on my goals... Most importantly, I experience the pleased feelings when donating money I earned for charity. Obviously, successful business can not only enrich myself but also support other people. This perception finally raised my childhood dream to a strong ambition of establishing my own company and use the money it generates to help people out of misery.