Short Answer--Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences(150 words).
This is my short answer of the Common Application
There are two versions. I have no idea which is better.
Please read them and give me some suggestions. Thank you very much.^^
The first one is describing the calligraphy.
I started learning calligraphy at barely six years old and would for the first time sit steadily for six hours, adjusting my brush and practicing a single word. Every Sunday, I unrolled the rice paper, ground the ink, and practiced writing. Calligraphy is a fine and delicate art and even holding a brush is a meticulous skill that is learned. Also, since calligraphy is based on using only as many strokes as necessary, I should complete characters in one artistic stroke. In this way, composure and accuracy are significant. No matter the situation, upon holding a brush, I feel a subtle artistic energy throughout my body and then a miraculous power that motivates me to focus. Calligraphy has given me the ability to concentrate on whatever thing I am doing, no matter how harsh the external conditions are, and this ability has proven useful in art and even academics.
The second version is elaborating on the English Corner I found.
I founded an English Corner in Shenzhen because I discovered that most people were too busy to learn English and had no opportunity to practice. I believe Shenzhen has to master English for practical purposes and to join the ranks of other international cities. I posted the flyers about the English Corner throughout the city, wrote posts on Internet forums, told every person I met. Soon, there were sixty members and I created different departments such as a logistics department, liaison department for finding sponsors, a promotions department, and even a finance department. Every day I spent hours interacting with every department head and my hard work resulted in one of the best English corners in Shenzhen. I truly believe this service we offer serves to contribute to Shenzhen's success development into an international metropolis over the next decades.
This is my short answer of the Common Application
There are two versions. I have no idea which is better.
Please read them and give me some suggestions. Thank you very much.^^
The first one is describing the calligraphy.
I started learning calligraphy at barely six years old and would for the first time sit steadily for six hours, adjusting my brush and practicing a single word. Every Sunday, I unrolled the rice paper, ground the ink, and practiced writing. Calligraphy is a fine and delicate art and even holding a brush is a meticulous skill that is learned. Also, since calligraphy is based on using only as many strokes as necessary, I should complete characters in one artistic stroke. In this way, composure and accuracy are significant. No matter the situation, upon holding a brush, I feel a subtle artistic energy throughout my body and then a miraculous power that motivates me to focus. Calligraphy has given me the ability to concentrate on whatever thing I am doing, no matter how harsh the external conditions are, and this ability has proven useful in art and even academics.
The second version is elaborating on the English Corner I found.
I founded an English Corner in Shenzhen because I discovered that most people were too busy to learn English and had no opportunity to practice. I believe Shenzhen has to master English for practical purposes and to join the ranks of other international cities. I posted the flyers about the English Corner throughout the city, wrote posts on Internet forums, told every person I met. Soon, there were sixty members and I created different departments such as a logistics department, liaison department for finding sponsors, a promotions department, and even a finance department. Every day I spent hours interacting with every department head and my hard work resulted in one of the best English corners in Shenzhen. I truly believe this service we offer serves to contribute to Shenzhen's success development into an international metropolis over the next decades.
