Hi, I would really appreciate any advice on my essay. Thank you.
Capture
1 sheep.... 2 sheep.... 3 sheep... . It's amazing to see how many sheep does it take to distract me from the whole point of counting them. I look out of my window, it's already 2 in the morning, the moon has been out for about 8 hours now. That same moon is now messing around in front of the sun, creating the extraordinary event we all knew as solar eclipse. The moon is currently in the spotlight, being admired by people in America, far from where I am now. At the occurrence of a lifetime phenomenon, there are thousands of people who are sleeping through it, not even acknowledging the event. I however, cannot get over the feeling of being missed out. The eager to experience every bit of this mystic universe is holding my sleepiness away.
Our planet Earth lies in one solar system among about tens of billions of other systems in our galaxy alone. Billions of billions of billions.... of galaxy like ours form what we called universe. And yes, there are zillion more of the universe that we heard of. This sort of scale sometimes makes me to question what truly matter to me, what doesn't matter anymore and what never did. But that is not what bother me the most, it's the colossal of the knowledge that remain unknown to me as I passed away. I'm not just talking about the space science, I'm referring to every aspects of study exist. We don't know yet if there is any other civilization that hold a different side of human knowledge which arts is a part of it and is what I most desire to explore.
Undoubtedly, it seems impossible for me or should I say for anyone to fully understand the universe. But at least I'm capable of developing my own understanding every days, hours, minutes. I may not know more than others do but as long as I'm trying to make the best of my own selves, that's enough for me.
Ending the live stream of the solar eclipse on Youtube, I look down at my sketchbook, finish with one final stroke of paint with a flick at the end (like Harry Potter with his wand) and revise my solar eclipse painting one last time. As I put down the date and the title for my work, I'm thinking of something that reflects all of the mess that's been going in my head the whole night. And "Capture" come to my mind. I might not experience it in person but I manage to make it appear right here in front me with a little bit of my imagination, water and paint.
448/650 wordsHolt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Minh, don't waste your topic of choice essay on such a trivial story that does not help the reviewer to get to know who you are as a person or as a student. Consider that this is your one opportunity to write about something related to your personality or character that the reviewer may not know about through the other common app prompts. What is it that you want him to get to know about you at this point? What academic accomplishment, personal achievement, or ambition do you have for yourself that you think will interest him to know and in the process, help to increase the spotlight on your application essays? While the solar eclipse is an event that should be noted, the open topic essay should not focus on that, or any other pop culture references. Use the open topic to generate more interest in you as a person or as a student. That is the whole point of the open topic essay. I strongly advice that you write a new open topic essay. This time, one that is focused on you and something that you feel the reviewer should know about you. Surely there is something you can refer to like, what subject you think is not your strongest point, what subject you think is your strongest point in relation to your chosen major, what you think life will be like in college for you, or who you hope to become within 5 years after you graduate. Those are some topics that I believe will make for excellent topics in the open essay section.
I like your casual tone, it's interesting and pleasing to read. I do see your personality reading your essay but there's not much of it. As Holt was saying, you should focus more on yourself. Stories that show your development is something you should consider.
