Common App Topic of Choice Essay "tumbling down the rabbit hole"

Tumbling down the rabbit hole

"Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never before seen a rabbit
with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.

In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again."

I felt this when I got my first computer at home. At first I felt rather intimidated. Neither one of my parents or anyone among my friends managed to understand how it worked. I was 9 years old so I thought I didn't stand a chance against a device that even grown ups couldn't figure out. I spent a week starring at it with owe and intimidation. But I couldn't resist. Driven by a burning curiosity just like Alice, I decided I should give it a try.

For my computer offered an endless amount of possibilities. It could answer sincerely to everything that I asked. It would never make a mistake unless I did one first. It would be my trustworthy friend. Fascinated by its concrete logic I spent a great deal of my time trying to master it. While many of my friends at school discussed the latest computer games, I would talk about the latest computer viruses and ways to deal with them. Every day I would make a new discovery, with the same look of surprise mixed with fascination on my face. I was falling down the rabbit hole fast and had no idea where the bottom was.

Then a door to another world opened. A world, full of knowledge and information, rushing through the phone line fast and uncontrollably. I was in wonderland. I found more information than I ever dreamed of. More than I could handle. I thought of myself as ignorant and small in front of all this knowledge, but I also felt tempted to explore this new world. Tempted to reach information inaccessible to me before, tempted to learn.

Everything in my life changed. I felt a newfound desire for knowledge. At school, I was most interested in mathematics and physics, and I did my best to broaden my understanding on these subjects. Also, I was lucky enough to have the right teachers. They were carring and willing to teach me things outside the school curriculum, and for that I am grateful. Of course they were some exception. My 6th grade teacher used to say "This is how it is. I will not elaborate on this any further. You wouldn't understand it anyway...". But I did. I looked it up on the internet and I did understand it. For the first time I didn't need teachers to acquire knowledge. For knowledge was free and open to me to harvest it. I guess I should thank my 6th grade teacher for making me realise that.

Now I keep moving forward. I try to learn something new every day. I am now twice as old as when I first pushed the "on" button, but still burning with curiosity. Even though I managed to understand how the computers, the internet, and everything in wonderland works, I am still not satisfied. Now I am ready to indulge in a world bigger and more complicated. The real world.

What do you think of my essay?

^It may have potential to be good if you can work on the analogy. Your analogy as it stands now is quite ineffective in my opinion. Not that clear, not that great, not that well written either.

Your grammar needs some revision here and there and you do incorporate a number of platitudes in your essay.

Also, I do not understand the focus of your essay.
At first, it seems that you wanted to discover and you were fascinated by the computer. Then all of a sudden



^The real word? The Matrix is just a movie you know. I understand that you were trying to link this to the Wonderland point, but your analogy is just not strong and evident enough.

Your essay needs work. Work on grammar and work on your writing style.
Try to be more focused on one thing. Try and be clear.