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Career in the computing industry ; Goals at Queen's University and beyond



ca12et 1 / -  
Feb 15, 2013   #1
Any help is appreciated. I'm not the best with grammar so i'm definitely missing some commas here and there.

Promt: In an essay of 300 words, or fewer (approximately 1950 characters with spaces), write about your goals for your time at Queen's University and beyond. Your answer will be evaluated for content and writing style.

Pursuing new knowledge and experience in my area of interest has always been an important goal of my life. I feel that the opportunities and resources offered by Queen's University will allow me to develop new skills and fulfill my lifelong goals. The diverse student body, outstanding professors and the exceptional campus and facilities all contribute to the great appeal of the University to many students, myself included. I believe that Queen's would be a great fit for my aspirations.

My desire to pursue a career in the computing industry stems from my great interest of the increasingly prevalent technology sector. My interest has lead me to do much independant learning and I would like to continue that learning at a world class institution such as Queen's. In the next four years of my life I would like to receive the best education possible. The Queen's computing program would help me achieve that. My goal is to not only achieve high academic grades but also gain valuable experience that will benefit me in the future. The Queen's Undergraduate Internship Program, a program unique to Queen's, is a opportunity I am looking forward to. This program will allow me to gain the practical experience and skills that I will apply in my future career.

I consider post-secondary education to be one of the most important steps of my life and I hope that I can have the privilege of furthering my education at Queen's.

Didgeridoo - / 289  
Feb 15, 2013   #2
Hmm... This is the prompt:

Write about your goals for your time at Queen's University and beyond.

What you wrote was a "Why I want to go to Queen's" essay, which is different. Stick to the prompt. What do you want to learn at Queen's? What clubs and activities do you want to participate in? What specific career do you want to pursue; where do you see yourself in ten or twenty years? Or, if you aren't sure, do you think Queen's can help you figure it out?
dumi 1 / 6793  
Feb 17, 2013   #3
Pursuing new knowledge and experience in my area of interest has always been an important goal of my life. I feel that the opportunities and resources offered by Queen's University will allow me to develop new skills and fulfill my lifelong goals.

These sound like just statements. Why don't you tell them what your goal is and how Queesn's capabilities align your knowledge and skills in achieving them. That is what the admission guys are interested in knowing.

My desire to pursue a career in the computing industry stems from my great interest of the increasingly prevalent technology sector.

.... well... I feel you should tell them a more convincing reason as to why you are interested in this field

In the next four years of my life I would like to receive the best education possible. The Queen's computing program would help me achieve that.

Do a little bit of research on Queen's programs and talk about them specifically. And then tell things like how you can gain knowledge in certain areas.


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