Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 4


Career in Medicine-WashU University Scholars Program essay


seni012 3 / 14  
Dec 26, 2011   #1
TOPIC: Explain why you are interested in pursuing a career in medicine. Describe any life experiences that may have sparked this interest, as well as any personal attributes that make you especially suited for a medical career.

The limit is one page (it doesn't specify single or double spaced so I decided to do single). I'm over by three lines; I should be fine...right?

"Almost there...almost there", I whispered under my breath. As I waited nervously, I noticed that the deathly silence in the room was covered only by the ticking of the clock and the muffled commands being given in the adjacent room. My focus went back to the screen and as the procedure culminated into a successful ending I shouted, "Booyeah!"

My attention on that screen isolated me from the surroundings but as soon as that word escaped my lips, the setting of the Cardiac Catheterization Lab unfolded before me once more. I realized that I was cheering for a black and white image of a catheter that had successfully penetrated an artery but evaded the dangerously close Pulmonary Artery. As my mentor Steve Madden walked into the room he asked, "So I'm guessing you enjoyed that?" He clearly heard my shout of exhilaration. Embarrassment engulfed me and I managed to let out a faint "yes".

The very next meeting Mr. Madden introduced me to another nurse working at the Cath Lab. During our conversation, Mr. Madden mentioned, "Did you know that Mr. Anderson has manic depression?" I was taken aback. The stereotypical image of a bipolar patient waged a war with the very contradictory image of Mr. Anderson and I was perplexed.

"Doesn't look like it, huh? It's because of my treatment. Do you know what the treatment for a manic is?" he asked.

My knowledge from Brain Bee flowed into my mind and I hesitatingly replied, "Lithium tablets".

This time, Mr. Anderson was taken aback. He clearly did not expect me to know the answer to his apparently rhetorical question. "Why! We should make you a doctor right now!" he said and chuckled. Ever since that incident, Mr. Anderson endearingly called me doc and we struck a chord. I satisfied my intellectual curiosity and he took joy in spending time with a teenager brimming with questions.

Those two precise experiences, the words "Booyeah" and "Lithium tablets" revealed to me that medicine was my passion and I would never go wrong pursuing this passion. The fact that I screamed triumphantly for a long piece of metal string entering an artery proved to me that my love for science was not superficial. The fact that I struggle with remembering dates but somehow manage to remember lithium tablets without ever learning it in school proved that I had a knack for science. Shadowing under Steve Madden was just the beginning, the subsequent months shadowing under three other mentors and the subsequent summer learning pathology in the Osler Fellowship Program only strengthened my initial revelation.

When I began to realize this, a sad epiphany hit me. As a high school student, I can only learn about medical conditions, I can only observe the screen that stood in front of me. However, I want to be in the room helping. This is where my path lies and I am sure that the University Scholars Program in Medicine will help me get to my path. Thus, I am here writing this essay and waiting for to tread on that path which will lead me to several more Booyeahs...except this time, I will utter them after having completed a successful procedure myself.

Please feel free to be harsh! Thanks a lot!
RiceAllTheWhey 3 / 16  
Dec 26, 2011   #2
I don't think you need to explain your reactions, as they were pretty obvious.

Overall great essay, shows how much you love medicine and expresses your interest to be a doctor.

Can you take a look at my essay too?
karissa_a16 4 / 94  
Dec 27, 2011   #3
I liked it a lot! usually I get bored with essays and skip the end of it but this one was good. You tied in your accomplishments without being flashy which is a plus. If anything, condense your language to make the essay as precise as possible.
nkprasad12 5 / 18  
Dec 27, 2011   #4
You're an awesome writer! This was engaging throughout and answered the prompt quite well. A few spots that confused me at first (not saying they need to be changed, but worth looking at):

- "the deathly silence in the room was coveredbroken "
- "My attention on that screen isolated me from the surroundings but as soon as that word escaped my lips": I feel like the essay could be just as strong without this - you talk about your focus already and without it, your focus seems most crisp and your return to reality is more sudden.

- The stereotypical image of a bipolar patient waged a war with the very contradictory image of Mr. Anderson and I was perplexed. : Is this part really necessary? I think it reads well as: The very next meeting Mr. Madden introduced me to another nurse working at the Cath Lab. During our conversation, Mr. Madden mentioned, "Did you know that Mr. Anderson has manic depression?" I was taken aback. "Doesn't look like it, huh? It's because of my treatment. Do you know what the treatment for a manic is?" he asked.

- "...you a doctor right now!" he said and chuckled.
- The fact that I screamed triumphantly -> My triumphant scream

Could you take a look at my MIT question? It's fairly short and simple.


Home / Undergraduate / Career in Medicine-WashU University Scholars Program essay
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳