Prompt: As Georgetown is a diverse community, the Admissions Committee would like to know more about you in your own words. Please submit a brief essay, either personal or creative, which you feel best describes you. Thanks in advance for any comments/corrections!
Carrots. I look disapprovingly at what's left of my lunch-a bag of carrots. I don't like them. Regrettably, I have no other option; it's what I've been given. It's a Tuesday lunch hour like any other. I sit at our designated lunch table between two girls who have been my best friends since freshman year. Girls talk to the left and right of me. They laugh at a joke I haven't heard and share the latest piece of gossip. But I'm sitting quietly in my own little world. And I'm okay with that.
I've been taught from an early age to always stay true to myself. And even though I walk out the door some mornings wearing a mask, deep down I am who I have always been. I'm confident, I'm quiet, and I'm independent. I'm not afraid to be different; in fact, it's something I strive to achieve. I sit at my lunch table, surrounded by friends, yet still find ways to feel completely alone, to travel to the place where I feel most content. I've found the confidence to be quiet, to not be the loudest one in a group. For me, being alone is when I'm most comfortable. It's one of the few times when I feel calm and grounded. A time when I can explore my thoughts...a chance to just be me.
Of course, there isn't just one "me." There's the Shannon who teachers know: she studies hard and never misses a night of homework. There's the Shannon who friends know: she eats lunch with a group of chatty girls and always laughs and smiles. Then there's the Shannon who I know: she is quiet, but not closed off. I feel comfortable when I'm alone because I enjoy quiet places over loud ones, because I enjoy listening over speaking, and because sometimes I prefer my own thoughts to those of others.
I understand that high school is an important step in life's journey, a necessary footstep in a much longer marathon. You see, I have another life outside of the daily gossip and friendly, but surface chatter. The equestrian world, my sport and my passion, is filled with close friends, travel, competition, my horse, and the community I do call my own. I have proven to myself that I can excel in high school, an environment that does not suit me all the time, but I have also proven that I can find a passion. Now I await the opportunity to finally live a complete life, when my friends and my passion, whatever it may be, are finally one. To finally explore the world to which I've only been introduced. A time when carrots won't be my only option.
And so, I sit at the lunch table, quiet, but content. My friend says something funny, and then looks at me expectantly; I smile and let out a laugh, a sign of quiet acceptance. Then I pick up a carrot and take a bite.
Shannon, there is nothing that needs to be corrected in this essay. You have perfectly summed up your diverse personalities in every paragraph that you created. You also gave the admissions officer a deep insight into who you are as a person. The many facets of your personality shows that various capabilities that you have and how you will be able to survive the rigorous and demanding college life. The statement about knowing how to be alone and how it benefits you shows that you are a person who knows you abilities and limitations and how to best use these to your advantage.
Congratulations on creating a well developed personal statement. It is an excellent preliminary interview. If there is one thing that I would like to have seen in this paper, it would be facet of Shannon that your parents know about. Only her voice is missing in this essay in my opinion. Her missing voice does not deduct from the excellence of the paper though. So adding her voice is a choice that you should decide upon.
