Chance at self discovery | Boston University supplement

In no more than 250 words, please tell us why BU is a good fit for you and what specifically has led you to apply for admission.

Boston University is my door to self-discovery. Coming from a very small town and tight knit school community, I have always dreamed of the opportunity to immerse myself into a feast of new environments, cultures and perspectives. A university that prides itself in its diverse student body and resources to enable people of all backgrounds to find their niche - BU is my chance at learning more about the world and finding my place in it.

[...]

(207 words)

- What more should I include/ what should I cut out?
- Where/ how can i include BU clubs? (Bangladesh Students' Association, Environmental Student Association)
- Grammatical errors?
- Better concluding sentence?

Have to submit in a few days, please help!!!

I like it honestly, I felt like you describing how much you wanted to be there, made me want to be there. great essay you could improve maybe by adding more detail on yourself, I only recall reading that you liked biology at an early age? I feel like you have to incorporate more about yourself everything in this essay, the admission officer already knows this, they know you want to study biology, they know this, what they don't know is why... why are you so interested in biology? did a certain life event cause this? your personal statement is where the officers can read something that isn't on your application. keep that in mind, its a good essay overall I would definitely add more about yourself.

Edited:

Coming from a very small town and tight-knit school community, I have always dreamt of the opportunity to immerse myself into a feast of new environments, cultures and perspectives. A university that prides itself in its diverse student body and resources to enable people of all backgrounds to find their niche - BU is my chance at learning more about the world and finding my place in it.

As a student interested in understanding the complexity of life not only on a large social scale but also at a microscopic level, my passion for Biology has been consistent since the 7th grade. The fascination began when my science teacher at the time taught my class a lesson on DNA - the intricacy of which continues to intrigue me. The prestigious Biology Department at BU offers a curriculum and reputed faculty that can provide the in depth learning that I seek, especially through the highly interactive and research fueled program in Cell and Molecular Biology.

Spending 4 years in BU will allow me to have the experiences and cultivate skills that I long for in order to grow further as an individual. To do so while enjoying the historically rich city of Boston will make it even more worthwhile. I firmly believe that this is where I will be able to discover who I really am, and I cannot wait to meet that person.

what do you think?